Similarity

It would appear to be a hair match.
Um, who is Lalaine?

Carols

Thanks to Jay for sharing the following seasonal funny (and providing further proof that ADD and ME share some commonalities). Enjoy!

Mental Health Christmas Carols

• Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?
• Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are
• Dementia - I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
• Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
• Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
• Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
• Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
• Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
• Attention Deficit Disorder - Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
• Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

Seeing

There's a movie review coming. First, an aside: Channel flipping this weekend I came across the movie Timeline, based on the formulaic but entertaining Michael Crichton novel. I had wanted to see how they turned book into movie but heard outcome was rather poor, so it seemed a good Sunday afternoon freetime flick. Yup, book got lost in the transfer (which if you know the story has double meaning). But that wasn't the point I planned to make. One of the characters was played by Tony Blair, or rather the actor who had quite ably portrayed Tony Blair in The Queen. He's rather distinctive looking and I commented to David how strange it was that I had no recollection of having seen him in anything and then he appears in two movies in a row I'd watched. Well, he is also in Blood Diamond. How weird is that? Three movies in a row. Michael Sheen--keep an eye out for him.

MOVIE REVIEW
Blood Diamond stars Leonardo DiCaprio in yet another action adventure message movie about good and bad coexisting and there being no easy answers. Well, apart from the apparently easy choices of protecting innocent lives and not coveting falsely rare diamonds. David commented that the backstory introduction about unrest in Sierra Leone was simplistic. At the end I asked him for his view on the accuracy and he conceded the movie was pretty good. So I can with an informed spirit tell you I recommend this movie. It's got violence and guns and lots of dead people (some bad/corrupted men and boys, and lots of innocent people). There is not one sex scene (David guessed it wouldn't be fitting the style of the movie and he was right). DiCaprio and Djimon Honsou are good; the secondary characters are thoroughly predictable types.

Oh, what's it all about? It's just your everyday quest for life, peace, wealth, justice--in shifting order. The journey focuses on two men. Denny Archer is a diamond smuggler in the diamonds-for-weapons trade of Africa (movie serves as passionate introduction to conflict diamonds). Archer lives by a fatalist philosophy of TIA--"This is Africa". He encounters an idealistic, adventure-seeking, comely female American reporter (played by Jennifer Connelly) who wants Denny's story; she's frustrated that nothing meaningful about this horrid business can be fact checked for publication (Her part is I suppose necessary to story but frustratingly simplistic). She sees the good in Denny, though he's not so ready to be good. Then there's Solomon, a nice African villager whose world falls apart one day when the Revolutionary United Front come and take him away, destroy his village, then take his promising young son into their arms (a nice play on words I did there). Solomon is forced to pan for diamonds in Kono, where he finds and hides a massive pink diamond. Denny learns of this diamond and convinces Solomon to take him to it so they both can get what they want.

As the Rolling Stones pointed out, "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometime, well you just might find, you get what you need." Blood Diamond is a bit preachy in spots, and the violence is brutal, but it rings true, and the pace and story keep you interested. I liked the complexity of the two main characters and the focus on important world events that don't get even the "one minute on CNN" that Connelly's reporter character predicts for them.

Queenie

MOVIE REVIEW
The following movie came out two months ago, but it's still in theaters here and thus still eligible in my world for a posted review. Catch it before the Oscars because I have a feeling star Helen Mirren (always fabulous) will be nominated.

The Queen feels every bit the docudrama that it is. Director Stephen Frears weaves news footage of Princess Diana (her royal and post-royal life and the public grief over her death) with dramatized showings of the response by HRH Queen Elizabeth II and Prime Minister Tony Blair (along with their capable assistants). What is most surprising about the story is not that the familiar events lend themselves so well to a movie but that the characters turn out to be so compelling. Tony Blair appears the most sympathetic with Prince Charles a distant second (surprised?). But as the story unfolds clarity falters, sympathies become less clear cut, and her Majesty's part--positively villainous from the start--deepens in emotion and human complexity. Don't despair, though; there remain one or two clear villains (I'll let you guess and see).

I asked David for his comment on the movie, and it was: "She was very stiff." Uh, okay, I'm guessing we can all figure out who "she" is.

The lowdown: The Queen is a solid docudrama both in style and substance. These are clearly actors playing real people (they look unapologetically more like themselves than their "characters", so they are open to doubtful interpretation), but well done and nuanced performances allow you to overlook what seem to be truly inconsequential bits of reality. Good pace, clear point to be made in the end without being at all preachy, and thought provoking for range of topics from mundane to philosophical. Highly recommended.

In an odd, related but unrelated note, I found that the British monarchy has an official website. Is that not a trifle strange?

Gangs

As I finish up my papers this semester I am reviewing some earlier writing. My professor praised a paper I wrote about gangs (I won't break my arm patting self on back). I thought I'd share a bit (which may sound familiar to you long-term readers)....

I smoke, I snort…I been begging on the street since I was just a baby. I’ve cleaned windshields at stoplights. I’ve polished shoes, I’ve robbed, I’ve killed. I ain’t no kid….I’m a real man. –City of God, 2002

To be there for young people, we adults need to get our own acts together. The negative world that gangs inhabit is no anomaly. When I contemplate who is responsible for seeing to it that young people are nurtured and entrusted and made to feel secure, I might say adults. However, how might adults provide this when so many—maybe even most or all—are themselves living lonely, insecure, medicated, or downright destructive existences? What does it mean to be an adult anymore? The above quote by a child running wild on the streets of the City of God hints at the confused notion of adulthood that some young people, and probably some adults, hold true. There is no clear and healthy delineation in our society between childhood and adulthood. Traditional rites of passage have been supplanted by sex, violence, and extreme limit testing. Assuming it ever was, childhood is no longer a safe haven, and adulthood seems to be more about emotional hardening than maturity. Adults can be powerful influences in the lives of children; in order to be positive influences, we need to attend to our own needs. It’s like the rules when you travel on a plane: in the event of an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask before assisting someone traveling with you. It is impossible to take care of others when you are incapable of taking care of yourself.

Seasons

Congrats to the UH Cougar football team. Last night they came from behind (and a paltry first half by many measures) to soundly defeat Southern Miss, 34-20, for the Conference USA championship. I'm thinking I bring football success to graduate schools. Maybe I should go out on the road with my skills, shop it when I seek a post doc. While I was attending BU they had their best football season ever, finishing (I think) #2 in Division I-A. Of course, shortly thereafter the program was disbanded for lack of interest/funds. I won't mention that part when I market my skills.

Criticism

As ever, not that you asked, but...
I highly recommend a reading of Alexander Pope's An Essay On Criticism. In it Pope pokes at contemporary critics and writers (18th c.). The style is intriguing--it is in fact a verse-essay, with criticisms delivered in couplet (two-line rhyme) form. Does it not ring a bell? The Essay is full of thoughtful nuggets and what have since become common statements. A few of the following quotes (presented in no particular order) might be familiar...

'Tis with our Judgments as our Watches, none
Go just alike, yet each believes his own.

Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread

But where's the Man, who Counsel can bestow,
Still pleas'd to teach, and not proud to know?

Hope springs eternal in the human breast

But you who seek to give and merit Fame,
And justly bear a Critick's noble Name,
Be sure your self and your own Reach to know.
How far your Genius, Taste, and Learning go;
Launch not beyond your Depth, but be discreet,
And mark that Point where Sense and Dulness meet.

A little learning is a dangerous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again.

Pretty good stuff, huh? For cheaters in the crowd, here's a study guide.

Drama

Looking over our high school yearbook for senior year I noticed that many classmates commented on my sunshine-y personality in their oft-odd signings. Funny that I don't look back on high school as a bubbly time. Maybe the love connection, the play photos, and the big picture on academics page in yearbook all went to my head at end of year, just as signers formed their parting thoughts. Or maybe I put on a better act offstage than on. Anyway, I am here to recommend a perusal of your yearbook. Recall the rampant silliness, the naive certainty of seemingly everything, and the anticipation of weekends and friends. What is there not to miss about being young? Ah, yes, the drama.

On a somewhat related note, I long ago posted my info on classmates.com and similar sites. I dutifully report my whereabouts, likes/dislikes, lack of dog/offspring/drinking problem (am I truthful? Will anyone ever know? Read on...). I've never paid for access to actually see any of this meaningful info about my classmates. I find names of people I'd enjoy getting in touch with but a click on their name gets me to the Pay Now screen. Of course I refuse. I wonder how many people actually pay for the access. (I'm too cheap; others would be too.) Thus a survey--has anyone of you actually paid for one of these sites? More curiously, what name would have to show up in the listings to provoke you to pay the fee?

Bond

MOVIE REVIEW
Casino Royale The latest James Bond returns to the beginning with an updated remake of the first of Ian Fleming's Bond stories. Incorporating post-Cold War realities and poker trendiness the story feels current. There are the usual outlandish events (the fuel truck racing around untouched on tarmac had me rolling my eyes repeatedly), two heavily made up and voluptuously clad women, a bad guy or two or three or four(?), and of course several heart pumping action sequences (including one guy whose strength and agility had me quite breathless). David felt the movie was long, but I was entertained throughout. The few ridiculous plot devices were overshadowed for me by the gorgeous scenery (leaning to David, "I want to go there for my next vacation"), a bit of backstory on Bond (played handsomely and convincingly if not quite so oozing-with-charm by Daniel Craig), and the overall sense that Bond is back. I have missed him.

History

At what point do past hurts need to be made public in order to heal them? And to what extent does the public adoration of victim or abuser get to play a part in the need and usefulness of deeply painful revelations? Does the sharing of a hurt make it go away? Alas, I fear not. I might sum up all of my answers with this: once a hurt is done, it's done. At the same time, the sharing of a hurt can be a wonderfully soothing, even necessary, relief, particularly when shared with the trusting knowledge and confidence that the listener cares for you.

Today's advice: Live your life as happily as you can. Live consciously so that others may be less subject to your wrongs, and finally, make peace with what you do wrong (and we all do wrong).

Bettina Aptheker, about whose women's studies class at UCSC I have made reference previously, wrote a memoir that includes the revelation that she was molested by her father, the famous historian/Communist Herbert Aptheker. I post this note as a way to track the various write ups I come across on the subject. Here's a tidbit written by Bettina. The allegation has of course made it onto Herbert's bio on Wikipedia. The Chronicle of Higher Education has printed a slew of letters that form a conversation of sorts in defense of either or both parties; the letters are in response to an article written by Chris Phelps, entitled "Herbert Aptheker: The Contradictions of History" (both father and daughter are well known academics). George Mason U.'s History News Network has an interesting response to the situation, focusing on the father's Communist ties. Because of the politics of both individuals, the discussion often pits left against left. Here's one such conversation which urges the father's defense as he cannot defend himself from grave. Finally, I found a very thorough review of Bettina's memoir and its various revelations, one with copious quotes and some very good points about writing about a political past from a personal perspective. Go in peace daughter; rest in peace father.

The following might seem inappropriate given the sensitive nature of above discussion, but it goes back to my "once it's done, it's done" thought. Come on, laugh a little.

Harry: What do you want me to do about it? I take it back, OK? I take it back.
Sally: You can't take it back.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: Because it's already out there.
Harry: Oh jeez. What are we supposed to do? Call the cops? It's already out there!
Sally: Just let it lie, OK?
Harry: Great! Let it lie. That's my policy. (They get into the car) That's what I always say: let it lie. Want to spend the night in a motel? (She glares at him) You see what I did? I didn't let it lie.

Evil

Check out this series of comics called Hello Cthulhu, in which the most evil of all evils (Cthulhu and friends) meets the nicest of nice (Hello Kitty and friends). Hysterical.

Intoxicating...

• out walking, lapping up fresh air, as a day spent in full fall loveliness at the Renaissance Festival surrounded by happy people
• Tom Petty on a Monday morning, amplified and connected straight to my nerve centers through headphones (undoubtedly not good for my hearing, but excellent for my soul)
• a weekend of victories for favored teams, the Buckeyes, the Cougars, the Warriors, even the hapless Niners
• a hot dog fresh baked in a crescent roll--oh my goodness why have I not had more of these in my life?
• no travel on Thanksgiving, no feast to organize, a wide open schedule for the entire week--oh my, that's nice
  

Not so intoxicating to me...

• the man seen drinking a bagged tall can from his new car whilst driving downtown pre-noon last Friday
• the smell of dog poo that presents itself with regularity on the lawn in front of apartment
• the deteriorating state of my television

Yet further proof that my life is not so bad. :)

Review

MOVIE REVIEW
Stranger than Fiction is about a single IRS agent, Harold Crick, whose life takes a very strange turn one Wednesday when he suddenly develops a narrator. I liked the literary element to the movie (lots of allusions to literary devices). I liked the quiet thoughtfulness that pervades the entire story. I liked the bit of suspense about what would happen to Harold (his narrator is trying to find a way to kill him, the threat of which suddenly brings Harold more life than he's had in a while). I liked Emma Thompson and Will Ferrell and Dustin Hoffman (who plays a literature professor trying to help Harold discover the narrator). I especially liked the romantic angle to the story (Harold is nudged into action by his narrator, the same one who's trying to off him). I also really liked the modern visuals and sets, and the changing graphic overlays. Okay, yes, I have a few lingering questions about Harold's watch. I was hoping for a different ending (once you've seen the movie we can talk about my ideas and you can share yours). But when I add it all up I come to this conclusion: I enjoyed Stranger than Fiction much more than I expected to. :)

Counting

I love election day. I love the community feel of voting, the tension of ballot returns, the magnanimity of graceful losers and hopefulness of ebullient winners. I won't rub it in any face, as we all have different preferences when it comes to politicians, but I may slip up with a quiet little "Yea!" today (not that I have particular or undying love for the Democratic party). I was ecstatic to hear about the high voter turnout around the country. There were a few races I'd have liked to have seen go another way. Kinky lost in Texas (near Republican sweep), Ford lost in Tennessee, and there's not a Green in sight (Camejo got about 1% in California which by the numbers would be enough to get him a representative slot in many districts around the country). In general, the election was nice but not earth-shattering. For example, I don't see the results making a substantive difference in education policy (Eduwonk has a good posting on this subject).

I am certainly not gleeful about the Democratic shift; power comes and goes. More to the point, there's a definite dark side to politics and politicians. Reminder: with power comes responsibility. I don't particularly care who is in power. I care about what they do while in office--is it a win-lose proposition, a win-win one or lose-lose one that gets the most attention in our capital cities? I'd like to see politicians get campaign finance and the national debt under control, deal with health care, and cut out huge swaths of pork barrel spending and ridiculous program expenditures (yes, yes, define ridiculous; I am reminded of the movie Dave--is that not fair?). Is it just me or do these issues all seem related?

It's time to invest in a sustainable future for all our residents. I want to focus on that which unites us and makes us all better off (hello win-win), not divisions and the qualities about us that nurture suspicion and hatred (goodbye win-lose). And I'd like to do that in a fiscally responsible, socially tolerant way. Alas, I haven't heard much to make me think these positions will be at or even near the top of our government's true agenda. Maybe that's because we the people have a little problem with our personal and business finances and community bridging and bonding connections ourselves. sigh

I asked the man by the ballot box (people had the choice of using paper ballots) if he had any "I voted" type stickers. Certainly not, his look told me. He pointed behind me, "I tell you what, there's a pot of ink over there. You can stick your finger in and put a little sticker on wherever you want." Ha ha, no thanks. Just checking if you had actual stickers like the little oval shaped VoteTexas stickers I had seen on a series of ads. He said he'd never heard of such a thing and besides, "That'd be illegal." Uh, okay, whatever. Sure that he was wrong and still disappointed by my stickerless experience (not my first stickerless experience voting in Texas, mind you), I went on with my day. WELL, I saw President Bush on the news outside his polling place in Crawford; he and Laura were both wearing VoteTexas stickers. I felt vindicated and denied at the same time.

In other political news, a Washington Post column about a proposed Council of Elders has piqued my interest. Naturally the group of experienced senior politicians is comprised primarily of white guys, but I am otherwise glad of the diverse political spectrum thus far tapped to serve on the informal advisory body. I applaud genuine demonstrations of leadership and collaboration in public service.

Double Trouble

MOVIE REVIEW 1
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan: Two things you would not figure out from this movie: Sacha Baron Cohen is British and Jewish. You will become familiar with his physical anatomy, his apparent ability to endure unbelievable social awkwardness, and something of his sense of humor. Borat the character is bigoted, sexist, innocent, and perseverent (consider that combo). Borat the movie is a satire. David said it's hard to like a movie that he felt compelled to hide through three-quarters of, but I rather did like it (and so did David in truth). The jokes are not what you'll be quoting verbatim at cocktail parties, the physical mannerisms of the characters (real people most of them) won't inspire much mimicry, but you will find yourself seeking out fellow movie viewers and dropping a reference, "the naked fight", "etiquette lessons", calling scenes to mind that make you both laugh uproariously (it's already happened to me). There are also scenes to make you cringe, including a variety of natural-born bigots and sexists that make you wish these were actors like Cohen, putting us on. Cohen as Borat puts himself into situations that bring out the worst in people, and we find ourselves alternately laughing hysterically and cringing in silence. Borat is not a comfortable movie, and I don't feel the need to see it again (the film is more outrageous stunt than compelling narrative, though there is a story), but I am glad to have seen it once.

MOVIE REVIEW 2
The Departed: It's been a while since I saw a Martin Scorcese film and I'm glad to have waited for this one to return to his genre of gritty drama. Leonardo DiCaprio was very good (and surprisingly good looking, may I add) as Will, a boy from a mixed upbringing (money and the streets) who takes on Boston bad guys by going deep undercover with the state police. He's lonely, confused, and angry, deep down a good guy who just wants a regular life. Out in the open as a cop, Matt Damon's character hides his loyalty to the exact bad guy he's charged with catching, Frank Costello. The bad guy is played by Jack Nicholson, who is decent in his cool control, tacky wardrobe, and intermittent accent. I liked the movie's details, introduced and then reinforced in words and deeds, as well as the overall feel of the movie. It's not clear early on who will win out, it's not obvious in the middle who will win or lose most. You may predict the ending but it doesn't make it feel contrived; things work out as logically as life. The Departed isn't an extraordinary movie but it is solid. Good acting, fair pace, interesting story, some tense moments, several compelling characters, nice scenery. Again, I probably won't see it a second time, but was satisfied with the one viewing I did partake.

Showdown

After decades of playing silly product placement games and receiving swooning contestant kisses, The Price is Right's Bob Barker is going to retire. This is very sad news as it will change irrevocably my lifelong dream of attending a taping. I'm sure that without Bob things will change. The network will try to jazz it up, modernize it, do something new to attract new viewers. [Does anyone else remember Wheel of Fortune in the Chuck Woolery days, where contestants bought items as they circled by?) I have never harbored delusions of success on game shows, but on this one every person in the audience stands a chance. I know, I know, only a small portion of the Price is Right audience ultimately is called to the front. Then you have to make clever use of the $1 bid or not go with the lemmings and overbid before you get to play a game with Bob, then spin the big wheel (I admit, that's my favorite part) and then if all goes really well you get to make wildly unrealistic bids on the Showcase Showdown. Still, I'd like to have a shot. Have you ever seen an episode where the winner took home both showcases only to be followed by a reminder to spay or neuter your pets? I have. And I am here to tell you there will never be anything like it again on television. Pure cheesy joy paired with responsible pet guardianship. Love it.

PS Happy Halloween

Students

We had a reception at school last night to honor Hersh Waxman, who left us this year to go to A&M. It was a lovely event, and very nice to get so many of the doctoral students together, all looking quite spiffy, I might add.


Joining me in this picture with Dr. Waxman are Donna, Jay, Becky, David, Brenda, Gregg, Allegra, Blanca, Kevin, Jeff, Liz, David, Deb, Peter, Khalilah, Carlos, Gloria, Robin, Lynette, Seth, Brent, Dai, and Karen. A few others from the 03, 04, and 05 cohorts missed the photo or couldn't join us that night but were with us in spirit as we thanked Dr. Waxman for all he has done for us. As our gift said, we will miss him.

Fantasy

Do you remember Schoolhouse Rock's sad little wannabe law, Bill?

I'm just a bill
Yes, I'm only a bill
And if they vote for me on Capitol Hill
Well, then I'm off to the White House
Where I'll wait in a line
With a lot of other bills
For the president to sign
And if he signs me, then I'll be a law.
How I hope and pray that he will,
But today I am still just a bill.

Well, it's your chance to make Bill's dream a reality. It's time for Fantasy Congress! Join a league now and draft a team of hot shot legislators as they try to push their bills through committee, gain favor with the power players, and avoid veto.

I haven't been this excited about the goings on in Congress in a long time. Maybe next we can play Fantasy Presidential Cabinet or better yet Fantasy President. Oh wait, that game goes under a different name: Election 2008. (Sadly, unlike Fantasy Congress, there is little chance for interim participation in Election 2008, apart from polls.)

It's just a fantasy
It's not the real thing
But sometimes a fantasy
Is all you need
--Sometimes a Fantasy, by Billie Joel

Creeping

From the New York Times comes this innocuous yet thought provoking news: Entrees Reach $40, and, Sorry, the Sides Are Extra (see story). Have you been to a restaurant with a menu featuring a $40 entree? I will be on the lookout, though my haunts are not likely to indulge this whim. I want to know what single entree in the real world is worth paying that much for. Are we just being swindled? How much are these places paying their wait staff? My optimist's brain tells me such restaurants actually pay all employees a living wage (dish washers included). That is probably a delusion.

[W]hat makes the rise of the $40 entree so significant is not just the price creep, it’s the sophisticated calculation behind it. A new breed of menu “engineers” have proved that highly priced entrees increase revenue even if no one orders them. A $43 entree makes a $36 one look like a deal.

At that, I am rendered mute.

Cookie

I'm a big fan of Thich Nhat Hanh and of the wonders of mindfulness. Here's a lovely introduction to the two, from one of his books:

When I was four years old, my mother used to bring me a cookie every time she came home from the market. I always went to the front yard and took my time eating it, sometimes half an hour or forty-five minutes for one cookie. I would take a small bite and look up at the sky. Then I would touch the dog with my feet and take another small bite. I just enjoyed being there, with the sky, the earth, the bamboo thickets, the cat, the dog, the flowers. I was able to do that because I did not have much to worry about. I did not think of the future, I did not regret the past. I was entirely in the present moment, with my cookie, the dog, the bamboo thickets, the cat, and everything. It is possible to eat our meals as slowly and joyfully as I ate the cookie of my childhood. Maybe you have the impression that you have lost the cookie of your childhood, but I am sure it is still there, somewhere in your heart. Everything is still there, and if you really want it, you can find it.

Variety

Rain and wind lull my California brain into thinking it is winter and there is need for a cup of hot tea and a blankie on the sofa. Alas, these needs were not to be associated with today's tropical deluge in Houston. The rain did mean that my break time would be indoors though, and I sought out appropriate leisure activities (laundry would have been a useful break from work, but the rainy weather would have rendered my efforts moot). Of today's amusements, I would heartily recommend a bit of loud music (of the classical and metal varieties), some new television (brought to me by my newly reunited friend Timminy Tivo), and a healthy dose of new math reading. If you check out only one of the above links, make it the new math. Utterly delightful.

Stuffed

My head is full. Mutti sternly corrected us at dinner one time that we were not "full" but "sated." My thoughts this weekend have wandered from deadlines to fantasy fiction, hunger to indulgence, nostalgia to hurt. Amid the stacks of coursework and visions of laundromats that confront me there are pangs of anxieties and hormones (dear god, I have those?). As of this morning there are even golf balls in my head. I'm stuffed, and that is not a feeling of being sated. Thoughts are consumed by action. Today's lesson: think less, do more.

News

Have I ever been happier by a headline related to President Bush? Breaking news on the New York Times this morning:

Bush Condemns North Korea, but Says Diplomacy Is Focus

It's gray outside and I sense the potential for cool fall weather soon. I lingered over my breakfast this morning knowing I had no appointment to hurry me out the door. Even the incessant thumping rhythm of a hydraulic pump across the street has ended its weeks-long torture on my ears (and heartbeat). This Monday is looking better than many in a long while.

Fiction

It's sharing time. During sharing time we sit and listen and don't pass judgment and may or may not care about the contents, but we listen on anyway, because it's polite. This is all a long way of saying I have no point today, no rant deserving of the soapbox, and am divulging something of a guilty pleasure for which I would rather not get any grief about. :)

It's been a long semester already. Work and life have taken my mind off fun at various moments, and so when I have time for fun I actually want it to be, well, fun. Descriptive enough for ya? I've had more coherent days, it's true. The new television season has held little if any allure, and I've not seen a movie in ages. So the time I might otherwise have spent in one of those amusements has been focused on reading. As if reading articles and books and data sets is not enough to fatigue my eyes I have recently devoured an 850 page novel. And what is quite sad (or sadly tempting) is the fact that it is the first in a series, each of which is as long or longer than the first. I am referring to Diana Gabaldon's Outlander and its (thus far) five sequels. Apparently there are lots of devoted readers of these Scottish time-travel/romance/historical adventure books (women especially), so I don't feel alone at least. (It's nice to engage in solitary activities but not feel alone. Does that make me more social?) Today I found an alt.books.outlander discussion group and a site that sorts out the increasingly crazy timelines. And there is a fabulous page of Outlander humor, including toungue-in-cheek poetry and t-shirt sayings for characters. I feel so positively normal and mainstream.

In investigating this series I have learned a few things. There is a genre of literature known as bodice rippers (I do not know if Outlander applies, as it does not seem to be mysoginistic or extremely tawdry). Secondly, Scottish Highlander men and English women are a cliched romatic pairing (this definitely fits the Outlander series). See, my endeavors have not been without meaningful lessons.

Sharing complete.

UPDATE: What a difference a day makes. The first sequel is turning out to be a disappointment. Story's good but there are too many repetitions from first book, too many leaps, and (uh oh) too much bodice ripping. I might jump ahead to a later book that looked good upon perusal and let it catch me up. *sigh* I was having fun for a moment there....
UPDATE 2: The next book in series is good, very good. Though there are sizable passages which can be skimmed, there's enough to read that it makes for a satisfying escape.
UPDATE 3: Ditto the fourth book. I think what I like about the stories is that the characters are idealized yet events are realistic enough (read: good things don't always come to good people) to be compelling. Not that you asked. :)
UPDATE 4: Now David's read the first book and is plodding through book 2. Tee hee.

Missing

Sorry, loyal readers, I have lost my funny. Can anyone out there help me locate it and welcome it home? Stay posted for updates to this developing story. Cross your fingers, light a candle, whatever might help get the laughs back to this blog. Thank you. :)

Tolls

Death is part of life and military duty includes known risk of death--got it. Still this news that the death toll from military action (2974 and counting) initiated in response to 9/11 attacks has surpassed deaths from those attacks (2973) is sad indeed.

Independence

I've rarely been more sure of who I would vote for in a major election than I am this fall with the gubernatorial race in Texas.

UPDATE: Alas, 13% of popular vote is not enough to win governor's race (but a very respectable showing for a third party candidate, dontcha think?). I was with ya all the way, Kinky. Oddly I am not saddened by fact that Governor Perry won with less than half of the state's votes. Four legit candidates in the running! I am so not a fan of the pure two-party system.

Venting

I advised someone recently to limit the venting and pessimistic talk that comes with frustration. My point was that focusing on positives, speaking in optimistic terms, and stating frustrations without embellishment or blame was a positively reinforcing, good thing. I have since then gone about some venting of my own. Oh well, call me (yet again) a well intentioned hypocrite. I do believe in the power of positive thinking and work on acting upon it daily.

Do, or do not. There is no try. --Yoda

An article about frustrated teachers' blog postings points to the serious problems associated with venting, especially about one's work and especially in public venues. I'm all for the need to vent from time to time, but I think it's a form of self indulgence. I want to be negative, so I let myself be negative. I want ice cream, so I let myself have ice cream. I think it's possible to vent and have ice cream within healthy bounds, as in the case of a person who is generally self aware, reflective, disciplined. Trouble is, most of us go about our day in an oblivious state. Discipline is often an external force, not internally, consciously acted upon. We pay attention to that which presents itself most forcefully to our consciousness. What is the answer? Like the 12 step approach advises: first acknowledge we have a problem.

If we all said we had a problem, does that in itself become a problem? Isn't acknowledging the problem the first step in coming to a sustainable solution? Maybe we don't actually believe in the possibility of a solution. There goes that negative thinking again. Like I said before, the power of positive thinking is its own reward. Try it.

I have few if any qualms about being a broken record. Am I in denial? I found a few quotes on the subject of repetition. Which of these most resembles my thoughts and actions? Which resembles yours?

Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth. --Franklin D. Roosevelt

The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things. --Ernest Dimnet

We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation. --Florence Scovel Shinn

I had not yet read today's Daily Darma when I wrote the above, but it seems eerily coincidental:

What one thinks or reads is always qualified by the preposition "of," or "about," and does not give us the thing itself. Not mere talk about water, nor the mere sight of a spring, but an actual mouthful of it gives the thirsty complete satisfaction. --D. T. Suzuki, Essays in Zen Buddhism

Outnumbered

As you read, remember that women make up more than half of the population. Where do you see women and where do you not?

I found an interesting article about the adapting and regendering, in essence, of female-authored stories by male filmmakers, in particular specific works of Allende, Walker, and Dinesen. The author considers what was and was not included or changed from the books to the movies. Get past the initial lingo and consider the evidence presented and you start to see a very good point. Not all storytelling comes from a single gendered viewpoint, but most movies do and it is a male one.

Next time you watch a movie made by a female director (are you even conscious of a female director?--their names are not often attached to megamovies), consider what if anything is different about the way the story is told. Who is at the center? What complexities and simplicities are ascribed to what sorts of people? What is the nature of the plot? Who wins and loses and what is "won" or "lost"?

In college I took a women's history class with Bettina Aptheker. Fascinating person, great lecturer, amazing office hours experience. Anyway, she taught from the viewpoint of cycles of history, social experiences and identities being the basis of historical record and analysis/discourse rather than war, governance, and economic systems. Finally I was able to put to words the unease I felt in many of my discussions about history with people. I've met many people who profess to loving history, but often times they end up being military or war buffs. I'm not saying this is not history, just that there is something more as well. I felt in college that too often when I said "I'm a history major" people assumed that meant I knew tons about World War I and II and the name of every President. When I became a teacher, the certification exam for social studies focused on these exact things as well, which frustrated me to say the least. My point comes to this: Not all of history is about what primarily involved men.

I am not for radical genderism of any kind. This being said, I would argue we have in many ways lived in a radical male-ist or phallocentric world for quite a while, and some think a tilt in the other direction is all that can alleviate the strife that came with phallocentric living. I feel radicalism in any form is unhealthy for the masses. Going full-tilt gynocentric does not help the masses either. Um, how about balance? Like, honoring all genders, honoring people as people, with male/female parts hormones, drives, frailties. What is so wrong with being human?!?! But I digress...

I disagree with the author of the piece which started this whole posting. She seems to villify male directors for ruining works of feminine genius. The male director's take is simply another version. Another man might give a different spin (though averages might tell us the spin would fall within a fairly narrow range, anyway...). A woman might have done similar to the man or not (dominant forces in movie making industry might determine part of this, anyway...). What matters is that there is a thoughtful version, whatever the particular gender identity.

I would argue that the fact of people looking to escape more through over-hyped, under-developed movies and television than through literature, or in either case avoiding anything not well pre-chewed, is more of a problem than there being multiple versions of a single story. There are always other views, and they are worthy. Being the most common or most popular or most familiar does not mean something is superior.

I could go on and on; I will not, not today at least. Turns out my soap box appeared benath my feet while I was talking. I now step down and give someone else a turn. Thank you for your time.

Momentum

It's not a soapbox day today (though my strong feelings about the goodness of feeling good and being good and doing good did come to mind as I wrote the following), but I have been pondering. Pondering does not lend itself to brevity or necessarily clarity. Thus I ponder...

Democracy does not, in my mind, mean turning on a dime. There is nothing in human social systems to suggest any positive, productive change can occur instantaneously. I was brought to this thought by another blogger's post on the subject of democracy. I especially enjoyed the last paragraph. Anyway, it got me thinking about the bad things that happen in our country and the responsibility we as citizens in a representative-democratic state have to address the bad things.

In most cases conscious attempts at change occur in response to perceived problems and crises. When things go well, if we take note of them as true successes, then we might change only insofar as we slack off in effort, which itself produces a change of some kind. If we took note of a success and kept doing what we had been doing, and success continued, we might fail to see it as success anymore. It disappears, leaving behind a sense, at best, of complacent comfort, and at worst stagnation and decay. Ironic, isn't it?

You can't be neutral on a moving train. --Noam Chomsky

Anyway, I do not believe democracy is about success and failure but about response. (The subject of failure and democracy is intriguing though, and I found several interesting posts on the subject: first, second, and third.) The actions and reactions of millions of individuals and groups form an often unconscious collective, one that reinforces and reinvents the system, the society. People are unbelievably powerful, even as we feel individually anything from conceit to helplessness. Whatever I feel individually, I am contributing to a larger feeling in society as a whole. My malaise, my diffidence, my enthusiasm, they feed into and off of the feelings of all those with whom I have contact. So everything begins in some sense with me (and you). Over our feelings we have some control. More important is what we act upon, as over this we have considerable control. Whatever I act upon or react to individually, I am contributing to a larger body of action, influencing more directly the world around me.

I am not under any orders to make the world a better place. --Troy Dyer, in Reality Bites

Democracy is not about turning on a dime. Democracy is about the collective will of all its participants, the sum of individual actions and beliefs. Democracy begins with me, and with you, as does any social construct. The government, the society, are ours for the influencing. We do so whether we intend to or not. So what influence are you having right now? Is it a positive influence?

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. -- Rush, from the song "Freewill"

Go do something good. You'll feel better, I promise.

Outlook

I'm cranky today. It happens from time to time, but not often enough that I know how to manage when it hits me. As a result I've been out of sorts all day. Normally I patiently overlook the neighbors' dog poop on the front lawn, the late mail (dated Aug 18, arrived today), and the hair that falls in my eyes. Not today. And nothing has improved my mood either. Not the tasty chocolate ding dong I ate this afternoon, not the sheepish grin and wave of the man who good naturedly cut me off on the way home. And most sadly of all, not even the music that has enthralled me for the last week (thank you Neko and Emiliana for trying). I'd like to think that those with whom I have interacted today noticed a difference from the usual, but it's possible that any perceived change in demeanor was purely in my head. I can only hope that my dreariness and lack of feeling efficacious is negatively correlated to David's success on his presentation. That could make me happy.

Update: Crankiness turned out to be indicator of looming physical illness. Note to self when cranky again--stay home and avoid people.

Guts

Wow. I have a very strong stomach and a fascination with anatomy and physiology, but I may have met my match this time. Last week I had Timminy record a 45-minute documentary on HBO called The Virtual Corpse. Words rather escape me at this moment after watching it, and I think most of you couldn't stomach the details. But suffice it to say this is one captivatingly real show. It tells the background of the man whose body became the source material for the National Library of Medicine's Visible Human Project. Joseph Paul Jernigan was an executed prisoner in Texas who agreed shortly before death to donate his body to science. In The Virtual Corpse we hear from family, lawyers, and scientists to get a full picture, no pun intended, of one man's life, death, and dismemberment.

Downgrading

"It's like an amicable divorce," he said. "The legal status has changed but the person really hasn't. It's just single again."

The IAU made it official. The news of Pluto's demotion from planetary status has deeply saddened me. Indeed I am in deep denial. I shall refuse all access to my old reference books or science texts for fear that someone will cross out the 9 and put an 8. [Okay, not that anyone is clamoring for access.] Next thing you know, we'll be reading about how the entering freshman class has never known anything but 8 planets. Sigh.

Pluto, 1930-2006
This enigmatic orbital oddity died this week at the age of 76. Address condolences to International Astronomical Union. Donations in lieu of flowers to neighborhood stargazing group.

Farewell, Pluto. I hardly knew ya, but you seemed like a nice planet. Rest in peace.

Quotability

I shall dedicate a post to things my co-worker Denisse says. I'll add to it as the need or inspiration arises.

We're having a Mexican fiesta themed lunch at work next week. Denisse (who was, by the way, born in Mexico) described a time when she was forced to wear her co-worker's fifth grade daughter's traditional Mexican dress and dance during a similarly themed luncheon. She wished not to repeat that experience, but thought other costumes might be fun. Then she recalled a Mexican costume she had worn proudly to another function: revolutionary. The only problem, she was told...

You can't take that rifle into church.

Denisse is delightfully fascinated by the Body Worlds exhibit which has been in Houston these last few months. I realized after the fact that she was referring to the plastination process at the heart of this exhibit when she told a co-worker this morning...

If you're going to have an abortion, you might as well donate it to science.

Indeed.

Sept 6: I heard some loud, aggressive alternative rock music emanating from Denisse's office today. I commented that I did not picture her as being a fan of, then I paused. "Head banging?" she finished the thought for me, and then went on to say...

You just have not met all my personalities yet.

Oct 25: Denisse paused as we were chatting and I thought she might have been leaving space for an implied profanity. It struck me that I never heard her swear, but that she might have that tendency, so I asked if that was the case. Her reply was affirmative. She added, without any prompt from me,...

I did not start cursing or drinking until I was married.

Her husband must be so proud. :)

Romantics

I don't know what it is about Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice that is so deeply satisfying, but it's become a bit of an obsession recently. Okay, I confess, I've been checking out fanfiction. Let me start by saying there's some really bad stuff out there. But then there is plenty to keep the heart atwitter (or some other cheesy, sigh-ful sort of response to boldfaced romanticism). For example, this 6-chapter long piece, a Darcy perspective from mid-novel to end called No Less a Gentleman, seems tolerably well written, it feels authentic. Or here's a fantastic blog which is largely "JA" related (with a healthy dose of other obsessions thrown in).

Jane Austen fans have created a glut of writing about, inspired by, and in critical support of the various novels, but Pride and Prejudice is the most hotly debated. [My choice of word there is quite appropriate given the, um, heat some fans have post facto ascribed to the novel's hero and heroine. You should see what some people have written about their feelings toward the Mr. Darcy pond diving scene in the BBC edition, and ensuing delight with Colin Firth. Oh my.] Anyway, I'm not looking into this fanfiction stuff for passionate alternatives to the confined manners portrayed in the original. I'm just enjoying the endless variations on a relatively simple story that bring hundreds, nay thousands or millions, of people together. It's a nice connection, wouldn't you agree?

[I can picture David rolling his eyes at all this, but then, I know how he reacted to the ending of the miniseries....]

Torrents

Soaked through. At the 4th floor it was gray but bright outside. Upon reaching 1st floor I heard an odd hollow thumping. The opened door revealed an awesome display of rain. Option: walk to car in rain, wait there for a break before walking to car (running versus walking would not have changed wetness outcome), or go back up to 4th floor and give up a bit on plan of leaving before commuter rush. I had places to be, like the grocery store for some school lunch snack items, so the decision was made--go for it.

The soaking through occurred almost instantly. The usual respite that comes with tree coverage had instead turned to collection raindrops. [What is the opposite in size of a droplet? Mere drops would not seem adequate for this rainfall.] Usually there are shallow, passable lanes through the sidewalks when it rains, but not today. Water came from all sides, as pools of it bounced up at me with every step. The warm water sloshing through my seen-better-days shoes reminded me of wading into tropical shores. I worried briefly about the books in my backpack until the droplets on my eyelashes made it difficult to see, thus distracting me. I smiled at fellow wet people, and none of them apepared any more concerned than I. I figured some drivers would take pity and allow easy crossing of the street. Maybe they too were blinded by the downpour, but either way they did not slow. By the time I made it to the parking lot I was hopping through puddles and reveling in my soakedness. A half mile down the road and all was dry--outside. Localized rainfall indeed.

Production

It's been long enough after the event that maybe it is safe to discuss now...When I was in New York on the subway, I sat next to a guy who was quietly memorizing lines for his part in an episode of The Sopranos. Okay a bit part, some unknown Italian-looking guy, and he appeared to be not playing someone who lived long, but STILL, The Sopranos, in their last season! I might have strained my neck a tad to read the script he was holding (snippets of scenes, with only his and preceding/following lines shown--it's all about secrecy, y'know), but I think I was subtle about it. I won't share further details for fear we might all get in trouble.

In my own production news, the book I was working on is printed and out there. You won't find it at your local chain bookshop, or even a specialty one, but it's printed and it has my name on the cover. Okay I'm "just" an editor, one of three, and it's a narrow subject with narrow geographic focus, but STILL. Tres exciting. I might even share a copy with you if you ask nicely. :)

Swearing

If you join the military voluntarily, do you get the right to choose participation in missions? I would think not. But then, I would not join the military. As much training and comradery and discipline I might learn there, I'd still be offering myself for fundamentally violent action. Sure, the military is tasked with "defense" but that defense is defined as weaponry and fighting. Not for me. Anyway, I am curious by the movement building around Lieutenant Watada, who has refused to serve in Iraqi missions. I heartily applaud his acting upon principles, but am unsure about the logic behind joining a hierarchical organization tasked with fulfilling the nation's militaristic "needs" (desires?) and then dictating the limits of that participation. Then again, it's tough to effectively challenge anything from the outside. More things to ponder.

For fun I looked up the military oaths. Can an atheist join the military? Does this oath give equal power to the President as to the Constitution? What is the operational definition of "enemy"?

The Oath of Enlistment (for enlistees): "I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

The Oath of Office (for officers): "I, _____ (SSAN), having been appointed an officer in the Army of the United States, as indicated above in the grade of _____ do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign or domestic, that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservations or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office upon which I am about to enter; So help me God."

Attitude

[Michelle stabilizes her soap box before stepping onto it.]

Is it possible for anyone to take pride in something that she feels is owed to her or that she feels is deserved? How do we learn to take pride in our actions and efforts? Is it not an osmotic thing, something absorbed from surrounding attitudes and reinforcements? So, what do you do that reinforces positive attitudes about hard work, selflessness, and pride above all in a job well done, rather than material or social rewards? Conversely, what do you expect from or complain about in others?

I like what New Hope Now has to say about perception of problems. When you believe something can be done or that something positive can happen, the problem seems less, well, problematic. Your sense of it changed and therefore the problem diminished in your mind. And ultimately, all problems are in our minds. The site goes on to list some points to ponder about your feelings toward a problem, such as reminders that we contribute to the problems we feel, and that problems are temporary. Good reminders, I think. Facing the music and accepting any level of responsibility, that's a lot tougher. But seriously, what have you got to lose? Maybe some problems, how does that sound?

And while I'm on the subject yet again of attitude, ask yourself, what is wrong with having a positive attitude? Does being negative actually make you feel good? So why hold on to the negativity? Does feeling good make you less productive? Does looking on the bright side mean you are weak? If you think positively, will you feel better? Why do we avoid feeling good?

Okay, lastly, just because I acknowledge my role in problems and feel good about myself does not mean I am justified in ignoring or furthering those problems. Unless or until I do something to remedy the problem, I am not helping anyone, myself included. Which brings me back to taking pride in one's actions. Do what is right because it feels good to do so. I hate the corporatization of this message, but man is it right: Just do it.

I'll discuss the pitfalls and personal experience with poor self discipline another day. Smile. Life is good. Or as Eric Idle sings...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

I thank you for your time. :)

Placement

I was nextblogging this morning (hitting the Next Blog button has become a verb) and came across a literate (or is it cultured?) blog by a guy named Peter Smikulas. It's riveting reading, but I have trouble placing it. As in, where am I to be mentally situated as I read it? An odd feeling, though not unpleasant. His rant on Mel Gibson's alcohol level is straight forward and quite amusing.
[As Tara points out, the blog and Mel rant have disappeared. They were last seen at http://petersmikulas.blogspot.com. It is sad when funny things just, poof, disappear.]
[Correction: it's Peter Mikulas not Smikulas; this correction does not change fact of site being gone.]

Thanks to nextblogging I have found my next hobby and blog idea--now that's nextblogging! There are lots of people who take a daily photo in the city where they live then post to a photo-blog site. Some are more artsy or exotic than others, there are bunches in Europe, and there are a few rather normal cities included. I notice Houston is not covered yet.

Visuals

Announcing the arrival of 2005 and 2006 pictures on my picture pages. That's right, we're going way back. So you get Greece, New York and Connecticut and a wedding and a graduation and some cemeteries and lots of family plus a few friends thrown in for good measure. Check em out!

Whirlwind

That's Heather and I atop the Empire State Building. We got a little silly with the picture taking. I'm prepping the other photos for posting to the web and I'll link to them ASAP.

Goodness

Came across this website and it cheered me a bit. It's an intro to Buddhism and makes the point that "Anyone can go to heaven--just be good." A lovely suggestion. Any takers? :)

News

Are we so used to sad news and division in the Middle East that we are no longer upset when horrible things happen there? For the record, I think the whole thing is horrible. I believe no side is "right" when each side is killing the other. People are being hurt and killed--what exactly is an acceptable loss? It's absurd and this absurdity is breeding the exact feelings that it purports to do away with.

Hatred never ceases through hatred, but hatred ceases by love alone.

I heard on the radio yesterday a commentator describing a hate crime in the US as "terrorism" (this term was key) because the perpetrator was Muslim. He went on to point out how this was the sixth such incident since September 11. He seemed to want listeners to be outraged over the lack of media attention to numerous domestic terrorist acts. I wanted to call him and ask about the daily hate crimes--all meant to instill terror--committed against gays, ethnic groups (or any other than self), and all sorts of average every day Americans, homegrown and fitting the usual look and religious predilections of US citizens. Why should I be up in arms about one horrible incident more than another? Is there any violence or hatred that is justified? Is it morally possible to choose one set of haters or killers over another?

Zippy usually helps me smile even when talking about unhappy things. Today even Zippy seems a bit sad.

Thank goodness for the Buddhist Peace Fellowship and others who acknowledge with compassion the pain and hurt but continue to hope and rally for peace.

Or listen to the Black Eyed Peas' Where is the Love, opening lyrics included here for your contemplation:

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all

Technology

For anyone who has an opinion about MySpace, check out this posting by Christopher Moore. Hilarious. If you have no idea what MySpace is, um, nevermind, go in blissfully unaware peace.

Notes to Self

The Avengers--1998 film starring Fiennes, Thurman, Connery--really is as bad as TV Guide predicted (1 star). It doesn't matter whether you start from end or beginning, it's bad all the way through. If you notice it listed in the broadcast schedule, do not be tempted to see how bad it could be.

The oil change man--Brian?--will never forget our having run into each other in the middle of nowhere during Rita evacuation. It's really very sweet, but I've made a mental note: Must gather witty hurricane-evacuation comments before going to oil change place.

Fast food isn't necessarily fast. Drive up window duty might be punishment for naughty not-so-fast food workers.

Dining alone is not pitiful but restaurant staff will look at you like it is. Bring a good juicy book to keep mind off the staring.

Recommended

The new season of Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days on FX has kicked off spectacularly with a look at the lives of Indian workers who are the beneficiaries of American corporate outsourcing. Highly recommended.

Update: Episode on atheist temporarily living with fundamentalist Christian family was very frustrating to me. How can any individual represent what is not actually a coherent community of people? There is nothing that unifies atheists other than a conscious rejection of "God". I felt bad for all involved in this episode.

Episode on Muslims in America was pretty interesting, though again frustrating. The Christian guy had a very hard time, believing he was somehow going against his belief in Jesus and "God" to participate in Muslim prayer of any kind. And yet he had agreed to participate in exactly that. It reminded me of a Zen lesson on overfull cups of beliefs. The guy's difficulties seemed largely rooted in a placement mismatch with his religious teachers/guides. He eventually ended up with someone who could help him understand a bit better, which redeemed the episode for me.

Final episode finds Spurlock himself returning to the activities of his show as he puts himself in jail. I'm certainly biased, well down the road of beliefs/lessons he presents about the prison industrial complex and lack of rehabilitation in so-called penitentiaries, yet I still think the episode would be of interest to anyone out there with a pulse. Good stuff. Even the questionable episodes force you to think about the world.

Experience

Where have I been? What have I been doing? In no particular order...

Hung out on observation deck of Empire State Building with Heather after standing in a long, consumerist line. Beautiful beautiful views.

Visited dead ancestors, and took flowers to some of them (I hope there is no jealousy aroused by seeming partiality).

Met some very helpful cemetery workers who then gave me a customer satisfaction survey to mail in (I kid you not).

Fell down hard on the driveway while taking out the garbage.

Bought oversized bandages perfect for scraped knees and elbows (so many choices these days).

Got pulled over while lost in San Antonio (it wasn't a good moment).

Accidentally happened upon the Alamo and the Riverwalk.

Saw a cool photo exhibit in an otherwise not extremely photographic photography gallery.

Drew the attention of guards at an art museum. Learned I must stay 6 inches from all display cases and really ought not put my head in the potentially decapitating security openings overlooking courtayrd below.

Drove through some of the most and least desirable areas of New Jersey.

Met a new relative (welcome Terrence!).

Hung out with family and friends and had a great time chatting and walking around.

Pondered the future of my program.

Experienced a tire blow out at freeway speeds while driving with a car full of empty boxes and wearing white pants. (Hurrah for AAA and America's Discount Tire Company!) David promptly went and got the new tires for VW.

Officially advanced to doctoral candidacy. Now I just have to pass a long test and complete a dissertation. Right, practically done.

Rediscovered a wonderfully stimulating toothbrush.

All in all, a pretty good few weeks.

Beat

Is this true? Can Dave Wakeling (aka English Beat) be on tour and coming to Houston next week? And there are tickets available for $17.75 including fees? Must I be there? Do I have time?

Countdown

Not that you asked, but...
Normally a source of relief, I have developed a fear of my To Do list. Yes, busy times are upon me again. Amazing how crunch periods come in waves and right before trips or fun plans. Do the trips cause the crunch or does the crunch of things to do bring about the trip? Shh, I think I know the answer. As a bit of an escape I shall recount some facts in my life:

Pavel owns ten t-shirts, one sweater, and several pairs of socks. (Yes, we could argue about his "owning" them--whatever.) He is currently wearing his most recent acquisition from San Antonio.

The drive from Beaumont to Houston is about 90 miles each way and the cruising speed on I-10 averages about 75 mph.

The VW needs new rear brakes ($378) and four tires ($400).

The price of a movie, drink, popcorn, and parking with student ID at the Angelika on Mondays is $6--total!

We have 283 DVDs awaiting us in our Netflix queue, plus 10 more that we've requested be added to the queue once they are released.

The last Netflix DVD I watched (The Lavender Hill Mob) was viewed while also working on my computer.

I love getting email from friends and family.

Each day I receive between five and ten pieces of requested but impersonal email--cartoons, education and political news, volunteer opportunities, travel deals, and sale notices. Most days I delete all but one of these without even reading them.

I have 526 read messages backed up in my personal email inbox and slightly over 500 in my work email box, each waiting patiently for me to file or remove them.

Okay, counting is no longer soothing me. Gotta go....

PS Happy Bastille Day.

Slideshow

Last few days I've played with MySpace (which as I have complained to some of you is rather cumbersome and annoying, but a fun escape too). Part of the amusement of MySpace is posting pics and info about self (and checking out the same for others). I made this little slideshow of self pics and there was an option to embed in blogger too. So here you go...

Newsworthiness

What makes something or someone worthy of attention? How about being a singer whose band went on to meteoric heights after you went crazy? Or maybe being a superpower nation and finally figuring out that the rules we agreed to do in fact comprise a good path? Or just being a blogger writing about another blogger, in this case the other blogger's efforts to barter a paper clip for a house, how about that?

Vote now, which of the above is the story of the day? (Warning: Your vote may reveal deep insights into your priorities.)

Pirates

I'm on something of a cinematic roll, now having viewed three movies in 10 days' time. Alas, I have yet to see Cars (sorry, Tara) and Brick seems now to be out of the local theaters. But I did catch the new Pirates movie almost on opening weekend.

MOVIE REVIEW
I went in with a headache, I came out with the same, but during The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest I was unaware of any internal pounding. There was plenty external, as the movie is full of swashbuckling fights, each carefully staged to elicit laughter and some suspense. In this the second movie we find Will Turner and his beloved Elizabeth Swann again separated and caught up in dangerous adventures that take them into the world of pirates and the undead. Captain Jack Sparrow seems to be off his game in the beginning but soon is up to his old amusing tricks. Sparrow's main concern is a rather large debt owed to one Davy Jones, someone who both he and Will would like to see gone. (As an aside, why was this not called "Davy Jones' Locker"?) There's an island of cannibals, a boat full of aqualife-sailors, and the Kracken to deal with along the way.

Dead Man's Chest is a fun tropical summer flick and pretty well plotted out. (Not that there aren't some head scratching moments. Sparrow's story was strangely disjointed and I am hoping it comes around in the third film.) Though you could have seen the first movie without moving forward with the second, there is no point seeing this second if you haven't seen the first and are not planning on seeing the third (Got all that?). The movie brings back old favorites in the form of characters, scenery, and action, and introduces some new players for part 3.

Though plenty of fun, the movie is a tad long at moments. How much can really be resolved in a middle story, which is about building up the problems? There's even an unsurprisingly dramatic "end" and a bit of a love triangle. It's like in Empire--will Han Solo come out of the deep freeze? Will love and family conquer all? I think we all know the answers. So this movie is not about the suspense, it's about the ride. And don't forget, these movies were based on a ride.

Exposed

A few weeks ago I loaded the back of the Subaru with my collection of aluminum cans. David rolls his eyes at my efforts, especially given the eventual pittance received in payment. On this occasion I hoped to reach the $5 mark, which he found laughable indeed. After I'd loaded the cans I looked down and wondered aloud if I should change clothes before heading out. I'd dressed in a way that might be publicly acceptable but was not my norm, short shorts and halter top. David joked that it might get me an extra dollar. I didn't care enough to change so I headed out. Well, I got $6. Lesson learned.

Vintage

As I add and add to this blog (it's been a year), the archives grow and maybe get lost. The first month was especially good I think. Read from the bottom upward to be chronological. Or check out what might be seen as my proto-blog on the Geilgeni Junction site. It's lovely too.

Materialism

David dismantled and brought my lovely L-shaped desk from house to apartment then "remantled" it (that was our rockin 4th of July). I also brought a storage rack to place my single sized pots and pans on (they've been stored stovetop these last 2 years). A few months back David brought the heretofore-guest bed and out came the futon from the depths of the bedroom to function once again as a sofa. Now that the apartment is full of furniture it feels so homey and not scholarly spartan anymore (a mixed blessing). We planned it so that expendable items would be in the apartment while the house retained those items which we would ship to CA (I see our past basement in our future). Now that these expendable furnishings are all arranged in the apartment I don't want to give them up. What if no one wants to buy our futon? And the old Ikea stereo and TV stands, will someone else see their beautiful utility? The bed is barely used as far as beds go. And maybe other single apartment dwellers have use for one cheap white Ikea bar stool, dining chair, and little piano stool. And what about the bookcase that my dad built when I was like 5 (he's undoubtedly forgotten, but I haven't)? It's been painted so many times the outside layer never really set properly. What if no one will take these things? Once the truck heads to CA, all will be stranded in Houston, given away or sold or trashed. David would give in and let me tow a UHaul trailer behind us if I asked, but maybe I need to let these items go. For a Buddhist, I have awfully strong materialist tendencies. Letting go is good, letting go is good, letting go is good....

Twofer

(It's pronounced "two-fer", in case you weren't familiar with the term, as in 2 for 1.) For the first time in a long, long while I saw two movies in one weekend. The first was Wordplay, reviewed earlier, and the second was The Devil Wears Prada.

MOVIE REVIEW
The Devil Wears Prada stars Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, and Stanley Tucci in a drama about fashion publishing and, presumably, the pitfalls of selling out. Somehow the integrity-laden Andy/Andrea (Hathaway) ends up as second assistant to one of the most powerful people in publishing, the head of Runway magazine, Miranda (Streep). Andy knows nothing of fashion and doesn't care to. Miranda takes a chance on this bright eyed college grad in spite of the misgivings of the entire staff. Andy must fetch Starbucks, hang coats, and put up with endless comments about her wardrobe and size (a 6, oh dear). But Andy puts up with all of this because, as she is told by the first assistant, she could land any job in publishing she wants if she sticks it out for a year with Miranda. That is, we are led to believe, a big if. Does Andy make it? Is Miranda the devil? Will Andy's friends be around to see her make it?

The movie is visually lovely, charming in parts, and makes a clear point. It's nice and harmless. Streep's white hair and ever-calm voice are perfect. The supporting parts are well cast; the boyfriend is adorably, realistically faithful. However, story development was slow, drama and intrigue were lacking (mainly in the first half), and sympathy fairly low for the protagonist. I didn't especially care if Andy made it through happily. The source of my malaise wasn't the acting and it wasn't the wardrobe or sets (lovely, ah Paris). It was definitely the pace and script. I feel like I, the casual viewer, could have offered several obvious improvements and made this a deliciously fun drama. Alas, it is not to be.

Queen

May this tidbit of music/sports trivia rock you:

The NASL [San Jose] Earthquakes opening game in 1974 was immediately preceded by a short concert by Queen, who had been commissioned by the owner of the team to write a theme song for the fledgling soccer team. Queen performed only two songs. The first song was We Will Rock You. The second song was the one planned for the flip side of the 45 release, a song that the producers thought would complement We Will Rock You. That song is We Are The Champions. The rest is history. (Source: Wikipedia)

Assuming it's true, I gotta say, that is way cool.
As a total aside, on the radio is one of my favoritest bands. Ahhh, happy Friday.

Wordplay

MOVIE REVIEW
With three you have a pattern, so I'd say there's a new breed of documentary. It focuses on competitive verbal savants, highlighting those for whom the pinnacle of the year is a wordsmithing competition. Spellbound in 2002 made the national spelling bee cute and poignant (quirky might have been a given--have you watched the finals on ESPN?). Word Wars in 2004 was less cutesy and slightly less successful at endearing its adult Scrabble fanatics to the world. Now in 2006 we have Wordplay, possibly the most cinematically together of the three. [One could argue that the genre has an earlier exemplar in Searching for Bobby Fisher, but I don't count that because it's not a documentary plus chess is not a word game, though SfBF is a lovely movie.]

Will Shortz, for those of you not in the know, is a puzzle master. He edits the ultimate crossword--the New York Times puzzle--and shares his puzzling prowess and joy on NPR, in Games magazine, and has published countless puzzle collections. Shortz is the main character here but he is surrounded by puzzle creators, competitors, and celebrity fans (Bill Clinton and Bob Dole, Indigo Girls, and Ken Burns among others). In the movie we learn the rules of a crossword, how they are created around a theme, and observe the annual tournament which Shortz began when he was in his 20's. They talk about the legendary Election Day puzzle. Wordplay is mostly interesting, well organized, and has a good soundtrack. This sort of puzzling does not seem to have the cutthroat feel that the earlier films had, and it leaves you with a pleasant if slightly unaffected feeling in the end. That and a desire to pick up the Monday Times (the week's easiest puzzle is inside).

OTHER MOVIE NEWS... Finally, I'm learning of some promising new movies. Several very intriguing trailers were shown before Wordplay: the apparently faithful rendition of Philip K. Dick's story A Scanner Darkly gets the animated treatment, Woody Allen's next movie (Scoop) features lighthearted mystery and Scarlett Johannson, plus there's a Hispanic teen story a la Real Women Have Curves (Quinceanera), and Once in a Lifetime, an ESPN documentary film about the late 70's New York Cosmos superstar soccer team. I've not seen trailers but the description of The OH in Ohio sounds quite, uh, titillating, and Little Miss Sunshine has gotten solid film festival accolades. Look for more reviews soon.

Security

LONG STORY FOR A SHORT POINT ALERT
How sad when helpfulness can be cast aside in favor of fear. At the airport yesterday I saw a laptop computer face down on the seat behind me. I had heard an announcement referencing it earlier ("A laptop has been found. If you believe it is yours, please pick up a white courtesy phone."). As I glanced at the fancy but forgotten piece of equipment a kindly old security guy came over and told me he had already tested the laptop for bomb material. It was clean, just a computer, he said, but he had put it back where it was left and would keep an eye on it for a little while, in case the owner returned soon. I was glad to know that things like bomb testing went on so unobtrusively. I was also pleased to hear that they didn't immediately whisk forgotten items away to the trash. So I turned the little computer around slightly to read the stickers on the bottom, looking for clues to its owner. It looked like a company owned computer. I gently tilted it up (my gentleness was to allay any potential fears on the part of security of an attempted theft) and saw another sticker on the front, this time a long label.

As I slowly flipped the laptop over, I realized I was being intently stared at by a woman sitting several chairs down. My immediate neighbor was intrigued but did not look stricken. This more distant fellow passenger looked like she was about to tackle me, as she sat balanced on the balls of her feet, hands pushing down on her armrest. "Don't open that!" she cried out as I turned the computer to read the name on the label. I read the name out to the security guy who immediately got on the intercom to beckon the laptop's owner by name. (I guess when security tested it, they were focusing on the test requirements not on the stickers, probably reasonable.) "Don't open it!" She was really panicked now. Her husband and another neighbor looked a little funny at me too. "I'm not opening it." I said to her clearly, calmly. I lifted my hands as a show of faith. I understood why she was afraid, but I knew I wasn't playing with fire here. I really did not want to be the cause of a scene. "It's already been tested, it's clean." I tried to reassure her, but she did not look convinced.

Next to the name was a phone number, Connecticut area code. I took the chance that this was not an undetectable, sophisticated, phone-triggered explosive device passing off as an expensive, license-sticker-laden Dell laptop. I picked up my cell phone and quickly dialed, carefully avoiding the evil eye that was directed at me. I moved away from the computer and my chair so she might think I was just making a random call. Well, it turns out the owner had just boarded his flight when I caught him on his cell phone. It took a moment for the guy to comprehend that he had left his laptop on a chair out in the terminal, but soon I saw him jogging towards me. It also took the beady-eyed woman a moment to figure out I had called a number somehow attached to the computer. When the owner arrived, the security man politely asked to see his ID before handing over the computer.

The computer's owner was very gracious and appreciative and then went hustling on back down to the gate whence he came. The woman shook her head at me like I'd done a very naughty thing, but I know I didn't. How sad that we live in such fear. My neighbor commented that I did a nice thing and I told her that someone once mailed me back my wallet which I had left at Taco Bell. I do believe that what goes around comes around.

Flooding

Livingston Manor (where dad and grandpa grew up) is in the news, but not for happy events. The June 29 NY Times features a photo and news of flooding in the Manor. When I started checking around, it seems the little village is all over the regional news. Of course this happens just as I'm about to make reservations to visit the area.

The overflowing Cattail Brook in Livingston Manor, N.Y., suddenly swept one house from its foundation and, with the 15-year-old girl inside, dumped it in the water.

"I saw it just fold up and it was just gone within seconds," said a neighbor, John Parker. "It collapsed like a deck of cards."

Mr. Parker said that rescue workers had been trying to reach the girl, whom he identified as Jamie Bertholf, a classmate of his daughter. She is missing and presumed dead.

AN ASIDE
Sad news abounds, this time out of my alma mater. See the official response and the initial gruesome news story about Chancellor Denice Denton's recent death.

A CHEERIER UPDATE (of sorts): In the July 1 Times is an article about a new arts center near original Woodstock site. The article offers some insight into Sullivan County economy.