History

At what point do past hurts need to be made public in order to heal them? And to what extent does the public adoration of victim or abuser get to play a part in the need and usefulness of deeply painful revelations? Does the sharing of a hurt make it go away? Alas, I fear not. I might sum up all of my answers with this: once a hurt is done, it's done. At the same time, the sharing of a hurt can be a wonderfully soothing, even necessary, relief, particularly when shared with the trusting knowledge and confidence that the listener cares for you.

Today's advice: Live your life as happily as you can. Live consciously so that others may be less subject to your wrongs, and finally, make peace with what you do wrong (and we all do wrong).

Bettina Aptheker, about whose women's studies class at UCSC I have made reference previously, wrote a memoir that includes the revelation that she was molested by her father, the famous historian/Communist Herbert Aptheker. I post this note as a way to track the various write ups I come across on the subject. Here's a tidbit written by Bettina. The allegation has of course made it onto Herbert's bio on Wikipedia. The Chronicle of Higher Education has printed a slew of letters that form a conversation of sorts in defense of either or both parties; the letters are in response to an article written by Chris Phelps, entitled "Herbert Aptheker: The Contradictions of History" (both father and daughter are well known academics). George Mason U.'s History News Network has an interesting response to the situation, focusing on the father's Communist ties. Because of the politics of both individuals, the discussion often pits left against left. Here's one such conversation which urges the father's defense as he cannot defend himself from grave. Finally, I found a very thorough review of Bettina's memoir and its various revelations, one with copious quotes and some very good points about writing about a political past from a personal perspective. Go in peace daughter; rest in peace father.

The following might seem inappropriate given the sensitive nature of above discussion, but it goes back to my "once it's done, it's done" thought. Come on, laugh a little.

Harry: What do you want me to do about it? I take it back, OK? I take it back.
Sally: You can't take it back.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: Because it's already out there.
Harry: Oh jeez. What are we supposed to do? Call the cops? It's already out there!
Sally: Just let it lie, OK?
Harry: Great! Let it lie. That's my policy. (They get into the car) That's what I always say: let it lie. Want to spend the night in a motel? (She glares at him) You see what I did? I didn't let it lie.