(Un)Safety in numbers

Because I refer you elsewhere a lot and maybe you don't actually go because it's too hard to tear yourself from my blog, I present to you here, in its entirety, a recent Freakonomics posting on the subject of transportation accidents, media coverage, and irrational fears (that last bit is my perspective, maybe yours too?).

The Danger of Safety
by Eric A. Morris

In case you haven’t heard, an accident on the Washington metro claimed nine lives last week. But then again, chances are you have heard, as the crash got wide coverage over the airwaves, on the net, and in the papers (by my count, at least five articles appeared in The Times). This is usually the case when trains or planes are involved in deadly disasters.

But what the media very rarely mention is that the carnage on our roads makes these much-hyped accidents look almost trivial. Nine lives is nine too many, but there were 39,800 motor vehicle traffic fatalities in 2008 alone (and that was a good year). At that rate, between the time of the accident, June 22, and the time you are reading this, on average about 1,000 Americans died on our roadways. Yet this rarely merits a mention by the press.

Why the disparity in coverage? I don’t think it has anything to do with any particular animus toward transit; on the contrary, I personally think the press has a pretty strong pro-transit slant.

Instead, a number of factors are probably at play. A flood of simultaneous deaths seems to titillate us more than a steady drip (and let’s not forget that we are being titillated here, or the media wouldn’t be serving these stories up). There’s probably a threshold effect at work, as a certain plateau of deaths triggers the dispatch of reporters. Perhaps crashes involving larger vehicles are more “photogenic.”

And I think there is one more key dynamic. Heavy rail (the mode in the Washington crash) is a lot safer than car travel; in 2006 (the last year for which I have data) autos were responsible for five times more fatalities per passenger mile. (See here for auto fatalities per year, here for transit fatalities, and here for passenger miles traveled by mode.

In 2007 and 2008 there was not a single fatal accident associated with a major commercial airline. This year has seen 60 deaths (most from a single crash), but that still makes commercial air travel vastly safer than driving. Even in 2001, the year of a (hopefully) freak disaster on 9/11, commercial air travel had a per-passenger mile fatality rate about one eighth that of driving (see here for air fatalities).

The relative rarity of air and rail disasters makes them novel, and hence news. Car crashes bite man, and rail and air crashes bite dog. Intensive coverage of the few air and rail accidents that do occur in turn promotes the widespread — and erroneous — inference that planes and trains are unsafe. In an unfair irony, in transportation perhaps too much safety can be a dangerous thing.

Now go visit my favorite part of the blog, the reader comments. I have to agree with the people who argue that one's lack of control over the airplane or train goes a long way toward generating fear of something bad happening. I also support the notion that one's lessened fear of car accidents due to this same sense of control is largely misguided--accidents happen to the most careful drivers, too. Decreased risk is not the same as no-risk.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

And by the way, my response to commenter #23 is, "Hello, you're reading a blog on the NY Times website. Let's just assume it might be a bit US-focused." No, I didn't submit that comment, because I'm pretty sure my snide remark would not meet the blog's comments standards. And if it did, then I'd not want my first contribution to the Freakonomics site to be a sarcastic one. I like to maintain the image of openness and compassion, even when I'm not feeling it. :)

It's the (cock)pits

For once the Freakonomics guys don't have the best guest commentator on a subject. Last month they befriended an airline pilot named Steve, who they've let rant about the industry and offer a few useful glimpses into pilots' work. Alas, the reader comments are more interesting by far. Over on Salon.com another pilot is a lot more coherent and offers much more interesting and useful insights, though he too has a tendency to rant a bit. Must be something about pilots. Anyway, go read Ask the Pilot when you have time to spare. Fascinating stuff.

Virtual homelessness

This is awesome. It's a blog reporting on the simulated game world of a homeless father and daughter, Kev and Alice. "That's a game?" you ask. Yup, welcome to The Sims 3, a simulation game where you create people and construct homes (or not, in this case) and neighborhoods, send young ones to school, older ones to work, and help your charges avoid death until old age takes them. Completely silly and fascinating at the same time. (Alice and Kev's creator also has a Twitter feed for them). Naturally I learned of this fabulous oddity through the Freakonomics blog. :)

Might as well be Mothra

The light brown apple moth is becoming quite the pest. Not that I've seen any, or am likely to ever see one. But they're out there, bugging me, because their presence in my world prevents me from taking advantage of a really cool produce-trading service, or any other free local produce, for that matter.

A few months back I offered to give away via freecycle my bounty of shiny ripe kumquats. I'm not a fan of the flavor of this small edible-skinned oblong citrus, but I was sure others would be. And as I've never spotted them in the produce section of the store I figured whoever likes them would jump at the chance to strip my tree bare. Sure enough, within an hour I'd received multiple requests for as many kumquats as I had to offer. But then amidst the enthusiastic replies came a reminder about the light brown apple moth quarantine area. I was in it, and no giving away of produce was allowed from within its bounds. Hmph.

I wrestled with doing the right thing versus thumbing my nose at the law by sharing potentially LBAM infested fruit. One respondent suggested an alternative: allow people who wanted to, to just consume kumquats on my premises, thereby not breaking quarantine. But that sounded a bit odd and time consuming. I could have ignored the helpful quarantine reminder altogether and had no difficulty in being left off the hook from friends and neighbors, since no one I've spoken to about it was aware of the ban on sharing even backyard produce within the quarantine area. After explaining my quandary to one friend, he wondered, "But if you're under quarantine, why can't you share with other people also in quarantine?" I've found myself educating everyone I mention it to (the reason is to contain moths where they are, period), and worrying that the quarantine is going to be in effect a very long time if everyone around me is unwittingly keeping this dumb pest around. Alas, such thoughts did nothing to unburden my kumquat tree. So as with so many things (though undoubtedly not enough things) I took the high road on this one, and have kept the kumquats to myself.

And so I sit here on a warm sunny day, looking out my window at the compact citrus tree that shades my patio, and watch as the breeze knocks another overripe fruit to the ground. And then I glance to my desk where I see a reminder about the need to clear fallen fruit ASAP to discourage loitering rats in the area. Sometimes it's not about getting ahead, sometimes it's enough just to be staying in place.

Nuts about Abs

I've got two interesting health related articles from the New York Times to recommend to you today, one on the possibly misguided abdominals exercise craze and the other on the possibly misguided childhood nut exposure avoidance craze. Don't want to read the articles? Here's the gist--sit ups are not good for your back; there are three simple exercises that are probably all you need to maintain a strong torso (but not the aforementioned sit-up); and having all our kids avoid nuts is nutty if what we're after is a decrease in food allergies (besides, the incidence of severe allergic reactions is much much lower than parents might be led to infer from the paranoia evident at schools and daycare centers).

Short attention span theater

A few random thoughts I've been entertaining lately:

Among ways to die, being sucked out of a disintegrating plane several miles above the ocean is not one I'd prefer.

News of the protests in Iran gives me some hope.

The idea that someone might remake Valley Girl sends a chill down my spine.

The California budget mess continues to distress me. There is absolutely no win in any of the solutions proposed, and I loathe no-win situations.

I really like the series of pieces being aired this week on NPR's All Things Considered about the cost of health care.

Loved the "Oversharing" discussion on Forum last week about today's virtual relationships. In particular the bit about inviting all one's facebook friends to a party, only to have one person show up.

Think about the difference between responsibility and accountability.

HOA = haphazardly organized absurdity

Last year I got involved in our townhome complex. We had been non-resident owners for 5 years, and visitors for many more years than that (the townhome was David's grandparents' place before we bought it). Before we moved in David and I had noted a gradual decline in the complex over the years, alongside an abrupt rise in dues. I figured, as I always do, I have no right to complain if I'm not willing to get involved and be part of a solution. Right off the bat I volunteered for a new committee tasked with identifying ways to improve life in the complex.

Turns out the HOA is managed in a marginally competent manner by a group of longtime residents. They don't exactly mismanage things, but they certainly don't manage things well either. Worse, they seem to actively undermine every new idea presented to them. Too late I discovered that the homeowners who populated the ad hoc committee I'd joined were on the outs with virtually every member of this closed-minded HOA's board of directors, that the feud was fairly longstanding though largely un-acted upon, and that the recently elected president of the board, a seemingly intelligent, personable guy, was very good at talking out of both sides of his mouth. I'd also begun to notice that the committee members had their own issues, some of which rendered them powerless; a lot of bark and no bite, if you will.

In a complex of 163 homes, where winters are mild and summer temperatures regularly reach the upper 80's, a glorious community swimming pool has been closed since September and looks not to be reopened before mid-summer due to seemingly nonchalant planning of repairs. This is a ridiculous problem to have, as it is so very fixable. It didn't take me long to see that we had more fundamental problems worthy of fixing, things like outdated fiscal planning, a lackluster landscape, and a rapidly deteriorating (some would say nonexistent) sense of community pride. The biggest problem of all though was that we seemed to have no one truly capable of (or in some cases interested in) fixing them.

Buoyed by my still-existent optimism last fall David won a hotly contested spot on the board of directors. He was elected and given the VP slot largely because he is a moderate, sensible person. Unfortunately the people he must work with are quite the opposite. In my opinion they are insecure, sheltered, fearful of change, and want to control things as a means of countering all of those. For the life of me I can't understand why these people are all so hateful and mistrusting. I'm not sure I've ever had to deal with such a negative concentration of people. Usually some common ground can be found, some nod given to civility or neighborliness or just plain curiosity about something new; not here.

I'm too tired at the moment to do justice to the lunacy that passes for so-called management and leadership. I'll just present you with a few images. Picture a defensive, ineffectual "professional" property manager who looks an awful lot like a young Wilford Brimley; a chain-smoking, pain-pill popping crazy board member who spends all his daylight hours dictating to the landscaping crew (while we pay their actual bosses for unused professional oversight); a renegade resident newsletter with a column titled "Musings from a bored meeting" in which the author (a local realtor) includes verbatim quotes from aforementioned crazy man; another resident who shouted at a board member--his neighbor--"You're what's wrong with this place" and shelled out $100 for a party after the board flatly rejected funding any social events; and various well entrenched cliques engaged in malicious gossip and the occasional flat out smear campaign (complete with letters and window signs). Suffice it to say that what happens at this complex is not conducive to making me want to remain much longer.

Sadder still is the fact that the spiteful shenanigans around here appear not to be unusual when it comes to HOAs. My next home will, I hope, not have a HOA associated with it. I'm afraid that my peaceful outlook might not be able to withstand such a test.

Placebos that kill

While the baby naps I'm catching up on some Freakonomics reading. Good thing, as I've missed some real doozies these past few months. For example there's this one on the unrealistic expectation that all drug/treatment effectiveness be evaluated in comparison to a placebo. (The title sort of says it all: "In a Parachute-Effectiveness Trial, Who Gets the Placebo?") Earlier this week in The Morning News they featured a website which displays front pages of major newspapers, side by side. Not essential, but interesting. Not even pretending to be essential are the various "aptonym" postings, wherein the authors share uncannily appropriate names (a meteorologist named Amy Freeze). As always the best parts of the Freakonomics blog are in the readers' comments. Check out the comments section of Creative Destruction, which plays to the blog's strength by simply seeking responses to the Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer interview. Fascinating stuff.

25 Things

Got tagged in one of those endless email/facebook "Share 25 random things about you" notes. I'm game, but short of 25 at the start. So I'll add things here as they occur to me (and as I can get on the computer), then post to facebook when magic number is reached. Here goes...

1. In high school I made up a moon prayer one evening during marching band practice. It was nonsensical and nonrhyming, but it has stuck and become quite special to me. I recite it at the first glimpse of the moon. And no, I won't be sharing it with you.

2. I'm a sucker for the Delilah radio program. It reminds me of listening to Casey Kasem's Top 40 countdown as a kid, which I also enjoyed with secret glee. Sappy, sentimental, and thus so very unlike me, but I can't tune away when I come across it on the radio dial.

3. I am a volunteer with the local open space district. Most of the work I have done there over the years involves removing non-native plants, but on occasion I've also helped count wildflower species, clear new trails, construct fences, and plant trees.

4. My second grade class protested the hunting and killing of whales and baby seals. We watched a Greenpeace film, then made signs and t-shirts and picketed at a mall (my first but certainly not last protest experience). Mrs. Davis, our teacher, also taught us meditation (possibly the greatest skill I learned that year). Yes, it was a public school and yes, it was the 70's.

5. I am fairly superstitious. This mostly takes the form of needing to knock (preferably on wood) whenever I say or hear a dire prediction about a loved one. I know this is irrational and not related to changing any outcomes, but still I must knock or else I become rather anxious.

6. There are moments when I feel quite strongly that the world is just a figment of my imagination. On many such occasions I have informed David, "You're another person," and he has nodded his head in chagrin.

7. During my first week at a new school in 4th grade I severely tore the ligament in my ankle while playing Chinese jump rope. That was my first of many stints on crutches due to ankle sprains.

8. I came this close to being named Michalene Angela.

9. I hyperventilate when I am anxious.

10. I have tinnitus, no doubt due to my love of loud music and rock concerts as a teen. I have since made a habit of keeping the volume down, although every once in a while I crank it up for a song or two. Alas, I pay later.

11. I only applied to one college. Thankfully I was accepted. Better yet, I have never once regretted my going there.

12. I love balloons and can become unnaturally attached to them, which makes their inevitable demise hard to take. I still lament the loss to the skies of an enormous balloon which got away from David as he emerged from his car on my 18th birthday.

13. My traveling companion's name is Pavel. He is a 13-year old stuffed animal; I identify him as a reindeer, but others point out he looks more like a moose. Head poking out of my backpack, Pavel has traveled on trains, planes, cars, boats, and bicycles. I buy souvenir t-shirts (size 6 months) and socks for him. He is my Wilson. My dad has expressed concern over my attachment to Pavel. He's probably right to be concerned.

14. I love pumpkin baked goods. Muffins, scones, breads, mm mm good. I make a point of going to IHOP each fall, as often as David will tolerate, to enjoy their pumpkin pancake special.

15. I enjoy reading fanfiction based on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Yes, some of it is bad (and some is quite racy), but the good stuff makes perfect pleasure reading. I'm not generally much for real life hypotheticals; however, in reimagining a beloved story, fanfiction "what ifs" are something I can happily ruminate on for hours on end.

16. The creepy clown doll in Poltergeist scares the bejeesus out of me.

17. I am "allergic" to aspartame. That's not a medical diagnosis, just an experiential lesson. I can consume small quantities but prefer to avoid it altogether.

18. I do not like the taste of coffee in any of its forms, including mocha. I also don't like beer, blue cheeses, capers, artichokes, avocado, or bell pepper. I will pick onions out of anything I detect them in.

19. Thus far in my genealogical research I have identified 144 of my direct ancestors, 14 generations' worth dating back as far as the late 1500s. "My people" are from Virginia, New Jersey, England, and Italy.

20. I lived in a four generation household for a time when I was growing up. The experience, frustrating as it occasionally was, is one I cherish. It's one reason I am so happy my child gets to live with his great grandfather.

21. I have a fondness for squares and prime numbers and other number patterns.

22. In another lifetime I would go to medical school, although I have no desire to become a doctor.

23. As a kid I liked to read encyclopedias. The internet, as useful a resource as it is, will never replace my love of reference books.

24. I love playing board games. Challenge me to a round of Clue and I will drop everything. In truth if you request my presence for any sort of board game I'm likely to jump at the chance, even the usually tedious Monopoly. Alas many good games, like Eurorails, require more time and willing participants than I generally have access to. I'm not much into computer games, but my favorites over the years have always been puzzle-related. Fools Errand and The Lost Mind of Dr. Brain immediately come to mind. I also enjoy The Sims, although I am clearly a far more casual user than the game is designed for.

25. ?? You'll have to go to my facebook page to check out the last item.

Fourteen Is Enough

Debate topic for today: The world would be a happier place without the news.

The reporting of live octuplets born this week in the Los Angeles area was intriguing enough. Now comes word that the mother has 6 other children, all under the age of 8. Wow. Make that WOW. It's no shock that the woman used fertility treatments, but it is rather amazing that with so many children already she would either want or need to use artificial means in order to have more. No doubt anticipating the incredulity such news would inspire in readers, the above story ends with quotes from several fertility specialists. "Who am I to say that six is the limit?" one said, while the other commented, "I don't think it's our job to tell them how many babies they're allowed to have. I am not a policeman for reproduction in the United States." True enough, but I don't think there will be any shortage of others willing to fill in the passing judgment void.

My grandfather always decried the unhappy focus of the news, and today's headlines would offer him no respite. First we have the latest depressing statistic on the economy; apparently we're doomed to a deep recession. (Side note: I'm rather surprised the media hasn't started stirring up fears of a depression. Probably they want to hold onto that one for next month, so as not to waste the recession momentum they've built up. UPDATE Mar 11, 2009: The Freakonomics post today is entitled "Yes we're in a depression", referring to the opinion of a new book.) Elsewhere in the news we hear that the peanut plant responsible for countless contaminated products should have recalled their peanut paste--or at least checked production thoroughly for source of salmonella--2 YEARS ago. And then there's ExxonMobil, who posted ANOTHER record breaking year of profits. Happy news for stockholders, but a sad statement for those of us concerned about deep imbalances in the world.

And last but not least is the news that former San Francisco Giant Bobby Estalella is ready to testify against teammate Barry Bonds in the grandaddy of all steroids cases. It's obvious Estalella was on something during his time with the Giants. No one gets as ripped as the catcher was during the 2000 season just naturally. And given that he and Bonds shared a locker room and a trainer, it's not surprising he may have some insight into Bonds' fellow bulkiness at the time.

Some may view the firming up of the anti-Bonds case as good news, and you might think that as a fan of baseball I'd be one of them. But in this instance I can't get happy over news of impending justice. In truth, the steroid years offered some of the most fun, exciting sports spectating I've ever witnessed. And in fairness to the doped-up players, the use of all performance enhancing drugs was not strictly forbidden at the time (never mind that users hid their habits because they sensed it was wrong and were playing Russian roulette with their bodies to boot--idiocy and self destruction have never been outlawed). As much as I may want to, it's not fair to judge past actions using today's standards.

But then Bonds isn't being tried for his use of steroids, past or present; it's the lying about it that is at issue in this case. Which is why my unwillingness to celebrate his demise befuddles even me. Maybe it's my compassion coming out. After all, Bonds has become persona non grata in what was virtually his entire world, which can't feel nice. Maybe it's me healthily letting go of the past. But more likely it's just a desire to not have to hear about unpleasant things and a wish to return to a slightly delusional present. After all, how can bad news get me down if it doesn't exist? There, I'm feeling much happier now. :)

Childbirth

What a difference a few hours make. Shortly after I published that last post I went in for what I assumed would be a routine prenatal check of my blood pressure and the baby's in utero movements. I didn't realize a year would have passed before I stepped foot outside the medical center again.

Okay, maybe I did have a bit of a premonition. Before leaving for my 3pm appointment I added a few last things to my hospital bag and made up a separate bag for David. I took a nice long shower and shaved my legs, coated my dry skin in lotion, and made sure the last of my laundry was in the dryer. Also, my doctor had told me that on these checks, if results were not as they expect then tests would escalate and could ultimately result in my being admitted for baby delivery.

But in the back of my mind I operated from an expectation that I'd be headed for a family dinner that evening as planned. I felt no signs of labor (wasn't even having Braxton Hicks or other early labor symptoms). Both David and I had been born late, so the "estimated due date" being 2 days hence was not much of a concern for me. The one hiccup was that my blood pressure was measuring consistently high when I went in for my last checks, even though at home each day it was within non-worrisome range. In short, I was comfortable with the idea that there was still time before baby came.

If nature had run its course, maybe I'd have been proven right. Who knows, who cares. Long story short, my blood pressure was high again and the baby did not cooperate with any of the fetal monitoring (he basically "failed" or didn't meet the protocol for 3 different, consecutive tests). After 6 hours of monitoring (plus 1 surreptitious dinner and a pros/cons talk with David) I ended up agreeing to be admitted and induced into labor. I was put into a lovely private labor and delivery room at 10pm, was sucking down fluids via IV by 11pm (apparently I was dehydrated on top of everything else), and dilated to 8cm (out of 10), by 11pm...the next day. Yup, a whole day passed of drug induced contractions before I would be considered to be in active labor.

Meanwhile the entire family arrived in eager anticipation. I wasn't writhing in pain for most of the day and company provided a nice distraction from the twinges and boredom. I enjoyed hearing reports of life in the waiting room and bets the family had made on when baby would be born. Nurses kept asking me what my pain level was, and I hemmed and hawed over how to characterize generally minor or at least completely manageable discomfort. I put the TV on a soothing music/nature images channel and dozed for minutes at a time. Early on I asked for and got a telemetry monitoring unit so I could walk around my room. I had a birthing ball to sit on during contractions, and David rubbed my back and offered me my iPod loaded with "labor tunes". After a while though even these things lost their comforting effectiveness. The waiting room crowd grew restless and started considering going home for the night. I wished I could join them, if only for a change of scenery.

As night settled in, the augmentation really started getting somewhere. I felt steady and painful contractions. Noting the time elapsed, progress left to be made, and my tired and hungry state, I asked for and got an epidural. Suddenly things were looking up. The intravenous pitocin (augmentation method #3) sent me from 5.5 to 8cm dilated in a little over 2 hours. The nurse who was set to leave at 11pm was optimistic that baby would arrive on her shift. Family settled back into their uncomfortable chairs and inane chitchat. David tidied up our stuff in the room in anticipation of the final phase. The only hiccup was that the fetal monitors kept moving out of position, and the nurses would have to readjust them constantly. Somewhere along the way the pitocin got dialed way down (basically, off). Progress slowed.

So I've been in my fashionable hospital gown for 24 hours at this point. Nurses cranked pitocin back up, at a faster rate than before. Contractions and pain built back up and then some. They switched to a fetal scalp monitor for baby, and hooked me up to some other monitor to measure intensity of contractions, plus gave me oxygen. However, even well after the amniotic sac had been broken, the baby hadn't dropped much more than where he was when I started all this, and certainly not enough to warrant pushing. So on with the contractions and monitoring and bedriddenness and "how's your pain level now?" we continue.

The epidural helped some with the discomforts of labor, but by the time I was 9.5cm (and holding) I had developed these weird muscle spasms in my hip that made virtually every position I could be in unsustainable and distracting. (And David tells me now that my epidural line might have been dislodged at some point, I dunno about that.) I was excited for what was to come, but with little dramatic progress and going into day 2 of no rest or substantive food, I started wearing down. I wanted to get up and move around, but the epidural made that impossible. I think I might have started dwelling on this deep desire to just stand up for a moment, but no one else thought attempting to do so was a safe idea. Again, in hindsight, who knows, who cares.

Doctors checked and rechecked the baby's position. There's a bit of cervix in the way of baby's dropping; I'm sort of stalled out at 9.5 cm. Dr. Mason tried to ease baby's head past this spot. More checking ("Sorry, you'll feel a bit of pressure" they'd all begin with, which always made me laugh.) Two people think Mason's maneuver has done the trick, but another thinks it hasn't. Okay, not an insurmountable issue. Another hour of contractions and we decide I'm dilated enough (turns out it's a subjective thing). Start pushing. Great, I thought, I can do something other than just lay here waiting for pain. It would be a relief to help things along, and I gathered my energy for the final stage.

Four hours later I was nearly useless. My concentration was completely erratic. I'd be in the zone for one contraction, then could only manage half hearted pushing on the next. The shift change had brought two nice but not terribly helpful nurses. David seemed eager to help but at a loss as to what I needed. Looking back I think my difficulty stemmed from being too "in my head" about things. I feel most confident and comfortable with new tasks when I get to process, attempt, evaluate, and retry. Good or bad, it's just who I am and generally it works for me. Well that sort of process just doesn't work when time is of the essence.

During childbirth there are contractions coming one after another with little time in between to regroup, more less think about things coherently and plan a better attempt on the next round. You have to just push, breathe, push. Let go of the pain in the hip, ignore the uncontrollable body shakes, block out the well intentioned queries from your partner, and forget watching the electronic monitor for a visual on when each contraction begins, peaks, and ends. Push. Breathe. Push. I'm doing what I can, but baby is still not dropping.

At the next doctor check David and I asked what our options were. She reported that baby still had a ways to go, but of course things can change rapidly. Pushing was making some headway, if I could just continue with it. That was the question. The doctor had me push through a few contractions, and I did my best. But the shaking and the hip pain and the inability to focus my eyes and the headache that came from holding my breath while I pushed (which was only productive method at that point) took up more of my attention than the urging of the baby to drop down and head on out. Doctor would gladly let me push as long as I was willing, but the lack of progress would warrant a c-section, if I wanted it. David and I did not hesitate to accept that offer.

From then on, everything went absolutely smoothly. The doctors and nurses who prepped me and did the surgery were wonderfully courteous, informative, and professional. The procedure was complication-free, my recovery was swift, and we had a perfect little year-end tax deduction, I mean, baby boy. ;)

I'm sorry to report I couldn't clear my head when faced with the pain and exhaustion of childbirth. Sorry only because I would have liked to learn to do it. You don't get many such opportunities. However, don't read too much into this, because I am not in the least bit sorry about choosing the c-section in this instance. I did not then, nor do I now, feel in any way cheated out of a natural birth experience. I would have preferred not to have had my labor induced because I know where it tends to lead, but at the same time I know why medically all the doctors who saw me that first day recommended doing so. My body and mind were not ready to deliver the baby naturally that day. However, as soon as Adam was delivered we could see that he was completely ready to be out in the world, and we were more than happy to have him with us at last.

Love Lists

A random assortment of (non-people) things and resources I love, in no particular order:

• The US Postal Service's online zip code finder
• A Chocolate Madness at The Saturn Cafe (chocolate ice cream, chocolate mousse, brownie, hot fudge, whipped cream, and chocolate chips; all natural ingredients that individually are more semi sweet than sickly sweet, though when put together: dessert coma)
• Avoiding landfill or unknown donation uses through person-to-person Freecycling (I am particularly fascinated by the sort of stuff people offer and then willingly take)
• The wonderfully creative world of Sims houses, neighborhoods, stuff, and people
• Autumn foliage and spring blossoms
• The public radio program Marketplace
• A wedge of mild cheese paired with orange juice
  

Obviously there are tons more, but those were on my mind and I wanted to share. What random things do you love?

Life and death

I'm glad of any happy news these days. Reports about global recession, Madoff's ponzi scheme, boneheaded US auto execs, robberies, child disappearances, and so on have joined forces recently with late pregnancy slowness and a chest cold to put a serious damper on my usually cheery spirit.

But these minor troubles were put into proper perspective yesterday with the early morning phone call informing me of the passing of the last of my surviving grandparents. Just 36 hours after my brother, mom, and David and I visited her, my grandma Ginny succumbed to an aggressive cancer. She died at home in her bed at the age of 87.

Grandma was mostly prepared for death. She'd had her knee replaced earlier this year but recovery was slower than last time. She was mostly deaf in the end but her hearing aids befuddled her, leaving her in a bit of a cocoon. And she didn't seem to like that old friends were leaving her behind. With the passing of each friend or family member came the announcement that she could die any day too, no matter the evidence of her relative healthiness. Even just a few months ago few if any of us would have expected she'd be gone at year's end. However, such is the nature of life, that it comes and goes as it will, often without regard to logic and expectations.

I am glad to have spent so many years knowing her, and having had the chance for her to see me grow up, settled with a wonderful partner (whom she always described as a very good man), and well on my way to passing on family stories and genes to another generation. As her health rapidly declined she often expressed the wish to live long enough to see our baby born. I will always be sad that she did not make it to that day. But I know that with time this sadness will be overshadowed by the memories of having been loved and cared for. She will never have met the baby, but I have no doubt that he will feel her love, as well as that of our other grandmothers and grandfather who died before her, through the love that we ourselves have been given and continue to cherish. So rest in peace, grandma, and know that your "little girl" loves you.

Entertain me

The baby does a decent job of amusing me, but at the moment his limited endurance and hideaway status make him insufficient to meet all my entertainment needs. (NOT that I am having a child in order to have someone to entertain me. Wait, then why am I having a child? And come to think of it, I could nearly substitute "David" for "the baby" in that opening sentence. Hmmm.) Anyway, thank goodness I've found a few other amusements in the past week, as I have been occasionally cranky and wanting a bit of escape.

READING
After several wrong turns at the library over the last month I hit upon a lovely book, one that has lingered on my "Read this?" list for years: The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank. What I thought would be a typical chick lit novel turns out to be a nuanced (fictional) life story told through a series of funny/sad/reflective vignettes. The plot, such as it is, seems to center on the progression of relationships in one woman's life. The perpetually staccato first person narrative style might grate on some readers, but I'm really enjoying it. In particular there are wonderful little one liners throughout, ones that make you laugh and think at the same time. Just my kind of contemporary light fiction.

MOVIE
For more vulgar and masculine amusement this week I turned to the Ben Stiller faux-action comedy Tropic Thunder. I'd wanted to see this in theaters and missed it, so was anxiously awaiting its release on DVD; I was so excited that we watched it the day it arrived (ask David how rarely this happens). Maybe in a different mood, such as in a non-tired-and-pregnant state, Tropic Thunder wouldn't have tickled me so, but for now I really liked it.

This tale of a group of self absorbed actors who come to realize their abandonment in a contrived jungle warfare location is actually the real deal had me laughing nearly beginning to end. I particularly appreciated that it included the strengths of Stiller's comedic style (some very crass humor alongside clever pointed commentary on pop culture) with less of the goofy/painful humor so many of his films thrive on. Also, Stiller didn't hog the camera as much as he often does, thus his awkward character (does he play any other kind?) did not drag down the pace. There was some controversy before film was released about Robert Downey Jr's playing an actor in black face, but I thought this part of the story was one of the funniest (and not offensive). Cast was well used, plot made enough sense so you could laugh without setting reality completely aside (no easy feat for such a ridiculous storyline), and only the ending was a bit disappointing (abrupt, I thought). Recommended for fans of grown up potty humor.

COMPUTERS
Have you heard of Diner Dash or any of its variants? It's a simple but addictive computer game that can completely suck you in if you're not careful. In each of these games you become service worker Flo, whether as a waitress, cook, seamstress, animal caretaker, or whatever other industry game you're playing (there are at least 3 Diner Dash sequels, as well as Wedding Dash, Doggie Dash, Fashion Dash, and others). Settings change, but formula for play remains the same: an odd assortment of customers (firemen, snooty society folk, old ladies with cats, cranky cigar smoking men dressed as chickens, you get the idea) come in during a timed shift and you must meet their requests and satisfy their moods in a timely and accurate manner in order to progress. Your reward at the end of a successful shift is money to upgrade facilities so you can serve still more, crankier customers with an ever greater, more complicated variety of services in the next shift (until you reach the last--there is a definite end, though you can play "endless" variation for a fix after you're done). Up until you've exhausted all levels, you choose which upgrades to take on as you go for ever bigger rewards. Of course more upgrades means more complex task expectations. And the game throws in scheduled curves as well; after so many rounds in one arrangement, the game moves Flo's supplies, machinery, and service counter to new spots on screen, thus ruining any routines you've established to get in the groove and succeed.

Do I sound like someone who has spent too much time playing (and thinking about) these games? Maybe, although I haven't actually played them very much at all. See, I'm too cheap to buy the (IMO overpriced) full game, and the free trials are limited to one hour of savable play then some unknown number of 5-minute stints (which when time expires boot you out quite abruptly). So I might have played a grand total of maybe 4 hours' worth of the original Diner Dash and its sequels over nearly two years. But when I play I always enjoy it, get back into the swing very quickly, and look forward to each new installment in the franchise. Which is why I recommend this game to anyone seeking bursts of free, mindless, computer gaming amusement.

Name game

The baby name has continued to be a popular topic of inquiry. We welcome people's friendly interest in little Baby Eugeni Geilhufe, so I sent out a list of names David and I are considering for him. We asked for feedback and got a variety of amusing and thoughtful replies. (I was called crazy to ask by a few--who went on to rate the names nonetheless--and some people did not respond, later divulging a fear about expressing opinions on such a personal matter. Fair enough.) We know that whatever name we end up choosing (and the choice will be made by us alone, only after BEG shows himself in the flesh), our baby will be accepted and loved no matter how odd or trendy his name. :) Anyway, I promised to share the results of my unscientific name-ratings poll, and I will; but first, a bit of context.

According to the Social Security Administration, the most popular names for boys born in the United States in 2007 were...
1. Jacob
2. Michael
3. Ethan
4. Joshua
5. Daniel
6. Christopher
7. Anthony
8. William
9. Matthew
10. Andrew

These names account for 9.2% of all boys born last year. And they comprised the top 10 for 2006 as well, with only slight reordering. In 2005 only one name was different: William was edged out by Joseph. We might expect these names to continue in their popularity. Jacob has been in the top 10 since 1993. Joshua's been top 10 since 1979 and Christopher has remained there year after year since 1967. Andrew is top 20 going back to 1980 while Daniel's been a solid top 20 pick going back to 1958 at least. Last but not least, Michael has always been either #1 or #2 for the last 40 years (and probably much longer, but I only checked last 40 years).

There are a few regional differences. When broken down by state, the 2007 list for California reads...
1. Daniel
2. Anthony
3. Angel
4. Jacob
5. David

And in Texas last year, the most popular boy names were...
1. Jose
2. Jacob
3. Daniel
4. Christopher
5. Angel

Angel and Jose were 1-2 in Arizona. Alaskans last year named more of their sons Aiden than any other name, and North Dakotans went for Logan above all else. Apparently the Hawaiians go to the Bible for inspiration, with Noah, Ethan, Joshua, Isaiah, and Elijah making up their top 5. Interesting stuff, eh?

(Just as an amusing aside, check out the most popular names for twins.)

I know you didn't come here looking for insight into naming trends overall. It's our kid's name that interests you, right? So what emerged as BEG's top 5, when taking family and friends' ratings into account along with our own? I shall hold you in suspense no longer. Out of a list of 20 or so suggested names, people preferred:

1. Andrew (read more about this name's origin)
2. Adam (ranked #65 in 06 and 07, origin)
3. Davis (ranked #395 in 07, origin)
4. Stephen (ranked #172 in 07 while Steven ranked #97, origin)
5. Andreas (ranked #971 in 07, not to be confused with Andres at #151, origin)

Anyone want to take bets on our choosing one of the above?

Safe havens

In Texas we got used to seeing "safe haven" dropoff site signs at public facilities. I don't think David ever quite got the hang of why such signage was necessary. It seemed odd to him, I suppose, that people might need to be shown where they could abandon their baby. I took the posting of such signs and passage of laws (like New Jersey's) creating the safe haven system as a reaction to those icky news stories about babies being born in a bathroom then left in a dumpster. I don't think it's a new problem, but media coverage certainly encourages legislatures to take action, and thus they did.

I suspect rather than know that newborn abandonment is not a widespread occurrence, but the passage of "baby Moses" laws around the country at least provides a clear course of action for the statistically small number of babies whose mothers know they cannot--or will not--care for them. The baby enters social services system and receives immediate medical care, parent forfeits guardianship, baby is placed in foster care, etc. A flawed approach probably, twisted social welfare, no doubt, and not associated with the healthiest life stories, but not the most horrible fate (see dumpster comment above). At least the abandoned baby Moses is just an infant, with a lifetime of adjustment options available to them, right?

Here's a headline for you:

Neb. parents rush to leave kids before law changes

What the heck is behind this slow steady stream of child abandonment in Nebraska? People are even coming in from out of state to drop off their children. Not infants, mind you, which is what I'm pretty sure safe haven laws and locations were meant to handle, but school age--in some cases high school age--children. Did all the other states with safe haven laws specify an age limit for legal abandonment, and Nebraska somehow tapped into an unknown market--those who wish to dump off their kids? With the national media spotlight on them, the Nebraska legislature is scurrying to put a tight lid on the can of worms they opened. What a sad, sad story all the way around.

Now, I've worked with a fair number of adolescents in my time, and I see where they can be a handful. Parents have their own problems, and the angst and drama that comes with one's children awkwardly and insistently asserting independence can wear on the most placid of adult caretakers. But to abandon one's child because all of a sudden parenting is just too much? Wow. Isn't this part of the experience, part of, oh, I dunno, life? I'm thinking the issue is not with the kid so much as with the parent (actually, I'm beyond thinking to knowing). If this is indeed the reason behind parents abandoning children (which is an assumption on my part, as I've not followed this news story closely), then it is yet another sign that we as a society would benefit from intensive therapy.

I take that back, I don't think therapy would benefit us all, I know it. Start facing and dealing with your problems, people, before you procreate. Pretty please.

Is there a safe haven out there for know it alls? :)

Funny Baby

I might be taking the "having a child can be such fun" notion in a new direction here, but I've started clipping cartoons that sort of bust on parenting. Thus far I've found two amusing parenting-related comics to hang on the baby room door. One's a New Yorker cartoon by Drew Dernavich. It shows two parents cribside as they tell some visiting friends:

We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese.

:) An amusing take on the absurd directions some people take while educating their children for the world, IMHO.

The other one I've taped on the door thus far makes me giggle everytime I read it. I just love the play on words in this Pardon My Planet comic by Vic Lee.


Fun stuff, eh? If you come across something funny that you think would make a good addition to the above, do send me a copy or an electronic link.

UPDATE 11/10
Speaking of baby showers, I've added a sampling of shower pics to my picture pages. Oddly enough, each shower at some point featured me wearing a towel on my head and me poised over a large, sweet, delicious cake. Just a coincidence? I'll let you be the judge.

Put Up or Shut Up

Apart from not liking the harsh tone of the saying, I'd love it if at the end of my life my tombstone could read (among other things): She put up rather than shutting up.

Not that you asked, but...
I prefer to vote in person. All this talk about record turnout, crowded polling places, and people standing in line to vote actually makes me happy. I love to see people exercising their freedom to vote, gathering together to perform a civic duty, rearranging their schedule and routine to involve themselves in deciding who governs us all and how it's done. Of course I tend to be happier about the experience when I feel committed to whomever and whatever it is I'm voting for (and even happier if I think my selections will ultimately be victorious). And admittedly I prefer that voters thoughtfully learn about and discuss issues before voting, rather than just basing vote on hearsay or a mindless party line. But no matter the turnout or how anyone casts their ballot, I feel endlessly proud and responsible and money-where-my-mouth-is when I vote. Hopefully you feel the same.

Testing a cool feature...
HarperCollins has made a few books available for online "browsing". In truth you could read the entire book online, if you are able to tolerate such an activity. Check out Ron Suskind's latest book, about the United States' changing moral position in The Way of the World.

Rest easy

Some days are more tired than others. Not tiring, mind you, but just plain from-the-get-go tired. It's making me a bit crazy. I can't predict from one day to the next when I'll wake up refreshed and when I'll toss and turn all night or awaken at 5am and be sleepy again by 9. Makes scheduling activities kind of tough. One thing I have discovered is that on days when I feel really energetic, if I take full advantage of it, I pay for the next day (or two) with sleepless nights and restless days. I suppose this is just my body's cosmic way of preparing me for life with a newborn.

Speaking of my little parasite--I mean growing adorable baby--it--I mean he--continues to entertain me with tummy-bending activity. If I'd had a kid younger in life I might have gone into whatever field of research would allow me maximum access to understanding what it is babies do and sense as they perform their jerky gymnastic feats in utero. Instead I am left with conjecture and the pithy little baby book descriptions of life in the womb. Not enough info to soothe me. I am so much more into facts than speculation.

Speculation is the name of the game with baby-related conversations these days. Baby names have moved up to become topic #1. I've compiled lists of names that I like and think go well enough with surname (and initials, per David's request). David's and my opinions change regularly, and at this point heaven knows what will show up on the birth certificate. Giving a child its name is such a tremendous responsibility. One's birth name is forever. Even if you change your name, that original one is always still in you, having defined you in some uncontrollable way. Yikes!

I've had many people advise me away from the most popular names ("Look at last year's top-ten lists and don't pick any of them"). I totally understand the anti-trendy name arguments, but at the same time I don't feel the fear and loathing others do. I had the #2 girl name for my birth year, and inevitably had several others with whom I shared my name in each year of schooling. I do not recall it ever once bothering me. Au contraire, I still enjoy when I meet another Michelle. In a world of multiples, I never lost sight of who I was. I haven't asked David about sharing his name with others, but his was #3 in our birth year, and he doesn't seem to have been damaged. It's possible David and I are relatively damage proof people, and this could bode well for our child (cross your fingers). On the other hand, we could do all the "right" things and still end up with a child who when grown feels for whatever reason he must identify under some other name. C'est la vie; I will love him unconditionally anyway. Wiggle Worm/BEG will be himself, a lovely blank slate of possibility, no matter his birthname.

Phew, I'm feeling much more at ease now. Is it too early for a nap?

RIP Mervyn's

I'm taking a moment now to lament the impending further decline in my shopping happiness. Among the unusual emotional responses I might be able to blame on hormones these days, my sadness over news of the demise of Mervyn's is not one of them. I haven't exactly been their star customer, shopping erratically and minimally over the years, but I will miss their omnipresence in my world.

I loathe shopping for clothes, mostly because I have a tough time finding things that look and feel good on. Mervyn's is one of only a few stores that offered me the rare opportunity to pick and choose among several options that fit (up until pregnancy, as they do not have a maternity wear section. Hmph).

But I've not been in a crowded Mervyn's in many years, and the perpetual storewide sale there and elsewhere has long hinted that times are tough for mid-size retailers. Megastores and online shopping and decline in brand loyalty undoubtedly contributed to Mervyn's filing for bankruptcy protection earlier this year. And now with the economy further in the toilet they've decided to call it quits, liquidating inventory by the end of the year. So RIP Mervyn's. It was nice knowing you.

Come 2009, if you see me dressed in a variety of ill-fitting outfits, feel free to blame it on the economy and not the babyfat. :)

Burning obsessions

Not that you asked, but...

I'm nearing burnout on election coverage. I know, amazing, huh?

Egg Beaters are absurdly expensive.

I'm well past burnout on financial coverage. Yes the stock market has tanked recently and our financial markets are having to regroup en masse, but the world is not ending.

Here's what I remind myself when the whiff of panic emanates from a TV news channel nearby: Stocks are best as a long term investment. Investing is a form of gambling; you can bet wisely, but you can't guarantee winning. You do not have the money associated with your stock portfolio unless/until you cash out the investment; until then it is for all intents and purposes Monopoly money.

I've discovered that Tums are as tasty as any after dinner mint. And they are a good source of calcium. Plus, they help with heartburn. Amazing, huh?

I know how it feels to lose Monopoly money in a hurry due to a series of unlucky rolls of the dice (and a brother who buys up property more aggressively than I do then lords over me when I land on that property). It sucks.

I have this parasite growing inside of me and it moves. Plus it makes me move. Involuntarily. It's a very odd sensation.

Thinking David would take the financial crisis in stride, I felt secure in knowing the world was not coming to an end. I was happy to know I didn't need to panic (when others about me were losing their heads). It's nice to have someone in your life to make you feel that way. Then David started to fret. Grrr.

I miss sleeping comfortably, restfully on my back. Very, very much.

I've never eaten so much red meat in my life as in the past 6 months. I'm actually starting to develop preferences among types of steak. Ack!

I am a big fan of odd sensations. In the past they've tended to be random enough (or not for public disclosure) that I didn't get the chance to obsess over them. At the moment I am almost encouraged to obsess over odd sensations. This can't be good.

I love Mad Men as much as ever.

My left ear has been doing this annoying vibrato thing off and on for at least a month. It does not respond to any normal ear clearing efforts. I would like it to stop.

I've been experimenting with using a traditional, multi-pocket, carry in your hand type purse. This vision of myself hasn't disturbed me yet. I know, amazing, huh?

UPDATE (Nov 3): Staying away from news for a while has allowed my natural love of election day to re-emerge; I am ready for a long election night watching returns and listening to absurd speculation. Mad Men season 2 is over and I miss it, such a well written interesting show. I've taken to carrying a few Tums tablets with me, and of course now I find my heartburn is not so bad. The experiment with traditional purse ended; it's in my bag rotation, but the oversize purse thing just isn't for me on a regular basis. Left ear stopped vibrato-ing, thank goodness. Good news: I've been able to back off on the red meat consumption. Not so good news: instead I have to take a heavy dose of iron each day to ward off anemia. But wow I'm breathing much easier now when I exercise. As always, good with bad.

Bailing for dollars

Are you sick of me sharing my love for the Freakonomics blog? Hopefully not, because they have several interesting, easily digested postings about the defeated Congressional bailout plan (read this first, then this, posted by separate contributors today).

And hopefully you know that David is dearer to me even than the Freakonomics blog. As I've mentioned before, he posted his thoughts on the market mess some time ago. Go ahead, read David's thoughts on the financial crisis, if you haven't already.

All this talk about the rejected bailout bills reminds me to put in a good word for Sunlight Foundation, an organization that encourages government processes be subject to "public input and scrutiny" (sunlight is the best disinfectant, you see). They have created a website--PublicMarkup.org--where proposed legislation is posted and the public can read and comment on it. They'd like to make this the norm, that any proposed bill be open for a period of public scrutiny before it's voted on (kind of like, don't just propose then immediately get married; it rarely works out as you expected in that moment of frenzied emotion). For a fully commented-on example, see the PublicMarkup on Senator Dodd's proposal for buying mortgage assets. Then go contribute your feedback (or read that of others) on the 110-page Senate plan, the Senate Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008.

Is that your final answer?

Thanks to Anne for suggesting this funny web app, which generates absurd garbled interview responses based on Sarah Palin's actual interview answers.

If you haven't caught either of the Saturday Night Live sketches featuring Tina Fey doing a dead-on parody of Palin, you are truly missing out. The first features Fey and Amy Poehler as Palin and Hillary Clinton. The second piece is Fey and Poehler as Palin and Katie Couric doing a CBS Evening News interview.

And lest you think SNL went too far in this last bit, you should know that much of Fey's dialogue consists of direct quotes from the actual interview.

Suffering Sufragettes

Thanks to Kim for sharing Women Against Sarah Palin, a collection of women's responses to the selection of Sarah Palin as the Republican Vice Presidential nominee. I've not gotten terribly far in reading the hundreds of individual replies, but it didn't take more than a few to generate a big smile on my face. I don't necessarily agree with all the opinions shared, but I love the passion, the freedom exercised, and the variety of viewpoints. Here's one fairly typical response:

By selecting someone as inexperienced, incompetent, and intolerant as Sarah Palin, John McCain shows that he has no true concern for his nation or its citizens. He’s older and not in the best health, yet he doesn’t care if his choice means that America stands a good chance of being governed by such an inappropriate and flatly frightening person. Ladies, gentlemen: We’re not voting for someone like ourselves, who drives to soccer games or likes a beer with the guys. We’re voting for the most intelligent, able person we can find. Those people are not John McCain or Sarah Palin. One more thought: I’m tired of people who are actually anti-choice being called pro-life. No one is truly pro-life who enjoys shooting defenseless timber wolves from an airplane and draping her office couch with a huge bear skin.
-Anne B., 61, Arlington, VA

Now the beginning is a bit over the top, but the closing is fabulous. I too question the legitimacy of those who oppose abortion being given the label "pro life," which would seem to imply that those of us who support a woman's right to an abortion are "anti life". I also whole heartedly agree that someone being like one of us, able to hunt, or an involved parent does not inherently qualify them for the Vice Presidency. It's just not that simple, and to infer such things in campaign speeches is insulting to the voting public (who may occasionally deserve it, but still, I'd rather vote for someone who appeals to my higher tendencies than lower ones).

• Aside # 1: The wacky connotations occasionally attached to the term "pro choice" are why I tend to prefer the bumper stickers that say "Pro Family - Pro Child - Pro Choice" to those simply proclaiming support for choice.
• Aside #1-A: Check out Urban Conservative's alternate view of the above bumper sticker. I like Adam's reply in the comments section. Hear hear.
• Aside #2: In high school a friend and I used to jokingly refer to ourselves as "pro abortion" after a classmate used the term during debate class to describe those who are in favor of choice. "Abort 'em all!" we'd cry, tongues firmly planted in cheeks. Clearly I've mellowed with age.

The responses on Women Against Sarah Palin come from avowed liberals and conservatives, young and old, Republicans, Democrats, and others. There are a number of common themes in the responses. Many hold the same opinion I do, that being relatable does not qualify one for high office, and many more respondents are frustrated that the selection and verbiage used to introduce it suggested in some ways that women are interchangeable (sad that this must be clarified) or even universal in their interests. There are lots more personal, passionate and thought provoking arguments against the selection of Sarah Palin. I appreciate that the majority of letters are attacking the cavalier or cynical selection process rather than the woman herself. (My $0.02 is that Palin should not be blamed for accepting the nomination, or for the party choosing her for political reasons in the first place; she would be silly NOT to take up such a grand opportunity. I don't think she's a dummy.) Anyway, the website makes fascinating reading, and I recommend it.

Jib Jab

Apparently my nephew has gotten hooked on watching JibJab videos online. I like that there's humor out there which appeals to 6 year olds and 37 year olds alike (although we might be taking different things from the experience). Anyway, check out JibJab's latest election animation short, Time for Some Campaignin', for a quick laugh.

Fiscal Incompetence

Today's Fresh Air featured a thoughtful and amusing take on the current financial crises facing banking giants and the economy as a whole. I highly recommend a listen.

Have I mentioned how frustrated I am by the fact that California does not yet have an approved state budget? The tenth largest economy in the world is over 2 months overdue on figuring out how to pay the bills for the next year! Argh.

And the United States deficit continues to grow. And we continue to import heaps of stupid (and some not so stupid) stuff and borrow money from foreign governments and exercise funky public reporting practices to ignore/avoid dealing with this growing problem. All the while infrastructure crumbles, imbalances in wealth increase, and we focus our attentions on how potential Presidents/Vice Presidents promise the moon without thinking about who else is not only useful but required in lassoing it. Double argh.

UPDATE
Lots of people blame California budget delays on the fact that the state (namely, its voters) requires a two-thirds majority in the legislature to pass each year's budget. Others get frustrated with career politicians who can't seem to think outside the box (or their district). I agree that these are part of the difficulty. But a much bigger portion of blame goes to the voters of the Golden State who continue to pass boneheaded (or well intentioned but ill conceived) ballot initiatives that tie the legislature's hands when it comes to how the budget is divvied up. See Comment section for more grievance-airing on this subject.

I've mentioned previously my love of letters to the editor. Today's San Jose Mercury News had a bunch of good examples to keep my love affair going. And one just happens to make a perfect addition to this blog posting. The following is San Jose reader Chris Bencher's (tongue-in-cheek) take on how California can get out of its financial messes just like big financial firms do:

Maybe feds can bail out California
How about this? Let California take extra withholdings from our paychecks, which will be settled up when we do our income taxes next year. It's effectively an "interest-free loan" to the government. Then, if California does not pay us back by April 15, 2009, we impose a 12 percent interest rate. Then we'll call this a "sub-prime" loan from the people to the state.

Then, the people can have the option to sell those sub-prime loans to companies like Freddie Mac and Lehman Brothers. The federal government will bail them out when Californai defaults, and voila! We just passed the California budget problem to a federal budget problem. A perfect solution.

By the way, the paycheck withholding part of the above deal is attached to the actual proposed budget for California. The legislature proposes the state withhold $1.6 billion this year from state worker paychecks, thereby giving the state coffers a $1.6 billion influx of cash. Then California would refund the full amount next year in state tax returns. All I'll say in response is, please go listen to Michael Greenberger's observations about shady financing (yesterday's Fresh Air).

UPDATE #2
Check out David's take on the government bailouts of financial firms. You go, David.

UPDATE #3
The credit crunch and California's slow movement to a budget have converged. Now the state is asking the US government for a $7 billion loan because its usual source of short term loans has dried up with the credit crisis (read the NY Times story). As if our existing bond-debt and fiscal short sightedness weren't sufficiently burdensome. ACKK!!!

Justifying crankiness

Not that you asked, but I've been feeling a bit cranky this past week. Instead of going through all the reasons I ought to get over it, I thought I'd take this opportunity to go through possible root causes of my crankiness.

1. 24-hour heat. Last week here in NorCal it didn't cool down until the wee hours of the morning each night. I am not well equipped to be warm most hours of the day. I'm born and bred a Californian, acclimated to warmth during the day and coolness at night. When I first moved to Texas I did not sleep restfully for several weeks. After my general crankiness and malaise caught David's eye, he decided to crank up the A/C (normally it was set to 78 degrees, and he lowered it to, like, 70 or something--wow, huh?). A few evenings of anti-environmental indulgence and I was back to my usually cheery form (sad, but true). I do not have that option now at my place in California. Thus I have been a bit overheated and cranky as a result.

2. 24-hour election coverage. We're two months from election day and the media are already making daily predictions about the Presidential race (monthly and weekly were frustratingly pointless; daily just puts my TV in jeopardy). I saw the CNN guy doing his electoral college math this morning, placing one state in a red column and another in blue (but wait, if we switch this and this then we get yet another hypothetical result). Fox News predictably reported on the big bump in polls the Republican ticket received after Palin selection (never mind margins of error, sample size, or other statistical relevance). Enough already! Can't we just let people watch debates, read substantive issue statements, and think for themselves before voting. I know, I live in political fantasyland (which is very citizen friendly and well managed, operating under a balanced, compassionate budget, by the way). And lest you tell me to just turn the TV off, I will point out I watched none of these items directly but instead overheard them as my housemate watched.

3. 24-hour hurricane coverage. Okay, natural disasters are terrible things, wreaking havoc in mere hours or minutes. It's sad that people die or have their livelihoods destroyed by the whims of nature. And looking at real devastation after the fact has a way of reaffirming life, which does have its value. Nature is awe inspiring, and we do well not to forget that. But we do not need to spend hours and days imagining all the terrible things that could be coming, even those events that threaten us sooner rather than later. If you want to play the odds, then it's usually a safe gamble to not worry about natural disaster, as relatively few will befall any of us directly in our lifetimes. And when something bad does occur, having worried over it will not have helped get us through it. Being practical and organized and action-oriented will help a lot, on the other hand. I am tired of hearing about how horrible things could be along the Gulf Coast with each impending tropical system. Having lived there (and through a few of them), I know that residents of the area are well aware of the risks. I am okay with allowing regional authorities to work through their preparations (and hopefully learn from experience) as they see fit. I am also okay with outsiders contributing to such preparations. I am not okay with doom-and-gloom reporting about events that may or may not occur and over which I have absolutely no control. (This last item ties to one of my easiest crankiness-triggers: complaint without action. You shouldn't complain if you aren't doing something about the underlying problem.)

4. Nothing to root for? My long-admired presidential candidate has been pandering more than I'd like recently, and the election has gotten to that superficial, do-what-it-takes-to-get-our-party-in-power stage. The Republican convention speakers seemed to rely on negativity, sarcasm, and put downs, which so do not inspire me. I know all of this is what typically happens and sort of expected it, but still I feel let down. The fall television season has presented no appealing new programming (apart from that Hole in the Wall gameshow which is fun for 10 minutes then I feel a bit dirty having laughed so hard at it, so I know the appeal won't last). I've got hours of programs that have languished, unviewed and unenticing, for months on my Tivo (apart from Mad Men and Project Runway, which are a few bright spots in my tv/film viewing these days). Sports usually entertain me, but there I've experienced disappointment too. My baseball team is winding down a rather abysmal season, and my fantasy team never got out of the middle of the pack. My football team, after an encouraging preseason, started the regular season with a disappointing loss yesterday. And my dreams and ideals about our home have turned to reality and a whole lot of work. We still face future remodeling of kitchen and bathroom, with many of the requisite details to be chosen. And even then i'ts not like we're creating our dream home. *sigh*

I long for something or someone to be cheery about, something meaningful and lasting to look forward to. Maybe some private aspiration that even once it's accomplished is sort of interestingly self perpetuating. Hey, I've got the perfect solution: I'll have a baby! ;)

Wendell Berry

As I watch the presidential conventions muddle along, I find myself yearning for thoughtful, significant observations on the needs of our modern society and ideas for how best to take care of our country and people. The following final remarks in Wendell Berry's 2001 essay "Thoughts in the Presence of Fear" soothed me. I love how his prescribed worldview combines sustainability, interconnectedness, and simplicity.

XXI. What leads to peace is not violence but peaceableness, which is not passivity, but an alert, informed, practiced, and active state of being. We should recognize that while we have extravagantly subsidized the means of war, we have almost totally neglected the ways of peaceableness. We have, for example, several national military academies, but not one peace academy. We have ignored the teachings and the examples of Christ, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and other peaceable leaders. And here we have an inescapable duty to notice also that war is profitable, whereas the means of peaceableness, being cheap or free, make no money.

XXII. The key to peaceableness is continuous practice. It is wrong to suppose that we can exploit and impoverish the poorer countries, while arming them and instructing them in the newest means of war, and then reasonably expect them to be peaceable.

XXIII. We must not again allow public emotion or the public media to caricature our enemies. If our enemies are now to be some nations of Islam, then we should undertake to know those enemies. Our schools should begin to teach the histories, cultures, arts, and language of the Islamic nations. And our leaders should have the humility and the wisdom to ask the reasons some of those people have for hating us.

XXIV. Starting with the economies of food and farming, we should promote at home, and encourage abroad, the ideal of local self-sufficiency. We should recognize that this is the surest, the safest, and the cheapest way for the world to live. We should not countenance the loss or destruction of any local capacity to produce necessary goods

XXV. We should reconsider and renew and extend our efforts to protect the natural foundations of the human economy: soil, water, and air. We should protect every intact ecosystem and watershed that we have left, and begin restoration of those that have been damaged.

XXVI. The complexity of our present trouble suggests as never before that we need to change our present concept of education. Education is not properly an industry, and its proper use is not to serve industries, either by job-training or by industry-subsidized research. It's proper use is to enable citizens to live lives that are economically, politically, socially, and culturally responsible. This cannot be done by gathering or "accessing" what we now call "information" - which is to say facts without context and therefore without priority. A proper education enables young people to put their lives in order, which means knowing what things are more important than other things; it means putting first things first.

XXVII. The first thing we must begin to teach our children (and learn ourselves) is that we cannot spend and consume endlessly. We have got to learn to save and conserve. We do need a "new economy", but one that is founded on thrift and care, on saving and conserving, not on excess and waste. An economy based on waste is inherently and hopelessly violent, and war is its inevitable by-product. We need a peaceable economy.

If you'd like to read more by Berry then I heartily recommend his collection of essays Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community. There you'll find he is strongly in favor of family, marriage, and community. He never hides his feelings about the need to emphasize local business and agrarian economies over any sort of global trade or industrialization. He's rather strongly against computers and other currently popular technologies (he is very concerned about easy access to information out of context). And he's a content Christian pacifist from Kentucky who embraces rather than runs from learning about other places and philosophies. A pretty cool guy, I think.

The lost art of subtlety

Hmm, do you think the Washington Post's honored editorial cartoonist Pat Oliphant, whose current message piece is shown below, supports John McCain for President?

Guns

I usually enjoy Morgan Spurlock's "walk a mile in another person's shoes" television show 30 Days. Sometimes the episodes are really thought provoking, such as when a professional athlete lived life as a paraplegic in a wheelchair for the month, or when a laid off employee traveled to India to see who would be taking his job ("Outsourcing").

The best episodes are probably those in which Spurlock himself is immersed in some new activity/place for 30 days. The last episode to air had him living on the Navajo Reservation for the month. At the beginning of this season he was shown working in the coal mines of his native West Virginia. Last season he spent a month in jail, and in the series premiere he and his girlfriend lived on minimum wage for 30 days.

Sometimes the show misses, as when a mother took up binge drinking to better understand (and control) her daughter's college/party lifestyle ("Binge Drinking Mom"), or when a Mormon woman went to live with a family headed by two gay men ("Same Sex Parenting").

Still, 30 Days is almost always more interesting than whatever else is on in its time slot, even when the episode is unsuccessful at revealing any breakthroughs. But one episode recently got me so riled up in the first five minutes that I couldn't even watch it. It sent a gun control advocate to live with a father-son pair of gun enthusiasts ("Gun Nation"). I'm pondering what this says about me, and whether to be concerned about it or not. In the meantime, here's a lovely gun related headline to share:

Small Texas school district lets teachers, staff pack pistols

Come on, you know you want to read the whole story at Star-Telegram.com. Then come back here and share your thoughts.

Summer

Sorry I've been away for so long. I've been keeping myself occupied pondering politics and the California state budget (or lack thereof). I've also been busy backing up computer files (not one but both computers are acting odd). And of course I've spent a bit of time grumbling over NBC's choices for how to use primetime coverage of the Olympics. Then again, I've stayed up too late on several occasions watching said coverage, flipping channels as I awaited the two 5-minute segments I cared about in the 4-hour broadcast. And I've spent much more time than that sorting through seemingly regenerative piles of junk in our house, continuing our quest to have space to park at least 1 car in the garage and know where all desirable articles of clothing are without embarking on an archaeological dig (my standards aren't too high, are they?). Then there's cooking and cleaning and laundry and bill paying and filing and grocery shopping and family tending. Yes, I believe regular chores have been the biggest time sucker lately. And, ahem, working on dissertation stuff too, naturally.

But don't despair, for I've also had some fun lately. I went to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk briefly yesterday and plan to do so again tomorrow. The weather's been gorgeous lately. I've been swimming regularly and am feeling comfortably back into my water exercise routine. I planted pretty (albeit some would say illicit) little flowers by my front door and have been tending several surprise tomato plants out back (or at least managing to do as well for them as the very poor starting soil will allow). I saw The Mummy 3 and was able to just enjoy the silliness rather than spend two hours critiquing and rolling my eyes (a major feat, there). I enjoyed the Niners victory Saturday night at Candlestick. And I've spent time with many friends and family in the past few weeks, whether floating around a swimming pool, in the hospital or at a birthday party in the park, over a losing game of Bingo, or just together for a casual meal.

So as summer approaches its unofficial close, I am happy to report it's been a good one. I hope yours has been good too.