Delusions

A woman at work is preparing to run a marathon. She's exercising herself into immobility in anticipation of running herself into immobility (funny, that). Two hours of spin class, another hour of running, followed one day later by a 20k run. This doesn't sound fun to me. I have no desire to run a marathon. I've heard about runner's high and all that, but it just doesn't appeal to me. Is it possible that I am too high on life? That I avoid new exhilarations because I'm so content with the day-to-day ones?

I told myself that I could run a marathon if I wanted to. That I am not incapable of such a feat. Then I thought about other things I opt not to do yet feel perfectly capable of doing should the urge strike me. The only thing I could not think myself capable of is killing another person or charasmatic creature. [DIGRESSION BEGINS: The fact that I differentiate creatures is problematic. I'd rather not kill any of them. In fact I've developed a bit of a walking phobia recently; I look for ants and bugs and attempt to avoid stepping on any. I recognized this fairly quickly as a problem. The problem, really, is that I became conscious of all the little life forms I trod upon daily and I developed compassion for them. What am I to do, live in a bubble? I have reconciled this recently by recognizing the insects, walking consciously so as to avoid mass murder and thanking all of nature for its wonder. Kind of like the meat I consume. Okay, I have totally digressed. DIGRESSION ENDS]

The point was, am I deluding myself into believing that I can run a marathon? If I have never attempted it, how can I know? And if I attempted it then stopped short, would that confirm that I can't? Or would it simply be further evidence that I had not YET done it? Is any of it really a question of capability?

I have now arrived at the conclusion that it matters not one iota what one can or can't do. I feel much better.

Next maybe I'll share my thoughts on actions speaking louder than words. You might be surprised by my views.