Rudeness

So I went to Cracker Barrel today with Rod and family for a farewell luncheon before they head back to Florida. The friendly young, presumably new waitress (she had only one star on her apron) asked Rod, "Where are you from?" He replied Trinidad, to which she responded, "Where's that?" So he explained. Then others ordered and I ordered and she asked me, "Are you from Trinidad too?" Now I'm not sure what about me seemed foreign exactly, and maybe she was being sweet and new and friendly, and I really should start with the nice reply rather than the funny one, but whatever the reason I responded, "No, I'm from another world entirely." I was going to follow up with, "I'm from California" but Rod had busted up laughing and the waitress had already moved on in her job and I was left having just replied to her perfectly nice question, well, rudely. I mean, it was funny in the moment, but on later thought I realized, man that was uncalled for. Luckily the waitress appeared to take no offense and delivered our food as perkily as she took our order. Of course, a bit of spittle would be undetectable in my bowl of chicken and dumplings. Hmmm.

Anniversary

In honor of the approaching 1-year anniversary of this blog I provide a partner to one of my earliest posts. Oh, and I love balloons. And my birthday is sort of soon too; balloons are associated with birthdays in my world. And I'm some kind of genius I'm sure. And I never suck the helium. For these reasons I present this Fresh Ink card:



Somewhere within one of my dozens of travel bags I tote back and forth to Houston I've got another card that makes me giggle. It's about worrying that as an astronaut calling Houston I'd sound all needy. You'd think it's funny too, if I could just find it....

Kismet

Barry Bonds hit home run number 715, passing Babe Ruth on the all-time home runs hit list.

The ball glanced off a fan's hands about 15 rows up and then dropped onto an elevated platform beyond the fence. The souvenir sat there for a few minutes before rolling off the roof to an unidentified man waiting for a hot dog, and he was quickly ushered away by security.

The idea that some guy ended up with a coveted home run ball while he waited in line for food, well, it amuses me. Firstly, that it ended up in the hands of someone who obviously was either oblivious or didn't care that Bonds was coming up to bat soon, and secondly because I imagine this poor oblivious guy being rushed away and going, "Hey, can I just get my food first?"

Conviction

Is it wrong to be happy about the news out of Houston today?

Computers

Today's book quote comes from David Sedaris' essay "Nutcracker.com" in Me Talk Pretty One Day. A perfect example of what makes Sedaris such a fun read: flies that are casualties of art, the smell of computers (or lack thereof), inexplicable adhesive needs, and designers as dealers. Enjoy.

I wasn't really aware of computers until the mid-1980s. For some reason, I seemed to know quite a few graphic designers whose homes and offices pleasantly stank of Spray Mount. Their floors were always collaged with stray bits of paper, and trapped flies waved for help from the gummy killing fields of their tabletops. I had always counted on these friends to loan me the adhesive of my choice, but then, seemingly overnight, their Scotch tape and rubber cement were gone, replaced with odorless computers and spongy mouse pads. They had nothing left that I wanted to borrow, and so I dropped them and fell in with a group of typesetters who ultimately betrayed me as well.

Next

Yet another pointless post: I love, no, I adore--which is different--the Next Blog button. Try it. Discover some of the many devoted Christians and graphic artists/photographers and random Spanish/Portuguese/Italian bloggers out there. I'm guessing that within five clicks you'll find two out of three. Or you might come across some beautiful flower photography. It's a crap shoot.

Follow up: I do not appreciate it when bloggers remove the Next Blog button from their page. How am I to keep on keepin on?

Blogosphere

Not that you asked, but...
Confession: I am a perpetrator of blogthings.

My brain is 60% female, 40% male

My brain is a healthy mix of male and female. I am both sensitive and savvy. Rational and reasonable, I tend to keep level headed, but I also tend to wear my heart on my sleeve

What gender is your brain?

And these two things I always knew; in fact, they are part of my life plan....

I belong in Paris

I enjoy all that life has to offer, and I can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris. I'm the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe.

What European city do you belong in?

I should learn Chinese

What language should you learn?

In thoroughly unrelated news, my fortune cookie fortune yesterday did not amuse me.

Drivel

It's been ages since I produced a News from Another World message to friends. House-bound musings have apparently disappeared from my life and I am left with drivel. Yet I don't feel devoid of amusement. In fact, smaller and smaller things amuse me these days, like the way the ceiling fan blows dust bunnies around the wood floor. Somehow not such compelling news. I used to fill my spare time writing movie reviews and updating my now defunct website. Okay, herein an attempt to recapture the fun that comes from being a critic...

Thank You for Smoking stars Aaron Eckhart as a successful tobacco lobbyist who happens to be a pretty good dad too. His character, Nick Naylor, deals with the constant challenges of promoting obviously harmful products by focusing on winning the argument. He meets weekly with lobbyists for alcohol and firearms; they discuss the difficulties of their work like any other group of friends, but of course the subject matter makes it absurdly funny. Nick's presentation at a school career day is pretty good too. I enjoyed the satire, the main characters were well played, and I thoroughly appreciated that in a movie about smoking you never once see anyone actually smoking. But alas the cleverness of the story and characters could not last forever and the movie loses a bit of steam towards the end. Still, this is a smartly told cautionary tale that never feels preachy and is visually amusing.
* Take note of the cigarette-wrapper themed title credits (there should be an award for such things; this and Napoleon Dynamite could compete).
* Visit the official website, watch the trailer or find where it's playing.

Malaise

There's a big deadline looming over my head, but now it's break time. I shall remain safely indoors lest I escape to the wilds of east Texas or my backyard. Maybe I've had too much Gilmore Girls season 1 viewing and nostalgic summer longing or maybe the atypically beautiful spring and then summer weather we've had here has melted my brain. It could also be too many consecutive days of working on school and work and home, or the utter lack of a routine...whatever it is, I'm in a funk. Unfortunately, when in that mood it pervades everything I see and feel like doing. Looking at my webpages I see that I've not posted pics in ages, and yet I do have pictures...somewhere. Now I find them but my access to webpages is not cooperating. Sadly for you, our entire trip to Greece last summer is missing from the web. Getting away sounds so good. I've been thinking about planned trips to New York and midwest later this summer and in my head I am on the road, picking the soundtrack and rest stop amusements and matching travel dates to baseball schedules. I read about this new history-minded walking path (de Anza expedition trail) in Cupertino hills and I long to be there or be anywhere with trees and fresh smells and my hiking boots on. But I'm supposed to be working. Deadlines really cramp my style.

Breathe

Smoking is being banned in public places in Beaumont. Wouldn't you just know that such a policy would take effect after I am leaving the city?

I think Jason's Deli is the best invention to come out of Beaumont ever. There's not much competition, I suppose. Frankie's Italian Grill is heavenly but I could find nice homestyle Italian food lots of places. I won't really miss anything about Beaumont except our adorable house and associated cardinals and lizards and tropical plants. Isn't that sad?

May 20 follow up: After four years, our issue of The New Yorker actually arrived in the mail before the date listed on the issue. David was speechless. I had tears in my eyes. Again, we are leaving soon.

Rhymetime

It's May Day everybody! (Not to be confused with mayday.) Dance around a maypole or celebrate International Workers' Day or just flip your calendar page, but do acknowledge the date somehow. Again, like my other post--what's it hurt to have a little fun? And on May 5th, you can celebrate No Pants Day as well as Cinco de Mayo. That should make for an interesting dress-down Friday. By the way, Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican independence day.

Numerology

My dad sent me the link to this birthday calculator thing which amused me and might amuse you. It tells you your spiritual numbers, and says how old you are in days, months, etc. It also gives moon phase for your birth date, holiday dates the year you were born, and some personal characteristics. From there you can have your full name numerically analyzed. Apparently my numbers are odd ones, as in 3, 6, 9, and 1, 5, 7. I know we can all find some aspect of ourselves in any Zodiacal descrption (we focus on those things that we believe are true of ourselves and ignore all the false predictions), but I still find it fun. Sue me.

Ideation

I'm just full of ideas for spending my time: write novels, create a stirring blog that more than 3 people might want to visit, do stats analysis for nonprofits, collect music-inspired poetry from people I know. But those ideas are so dull. Finally, I've come up with a brilliant idea: month-by-month religious adoption! Over a year, I could spend a month at a time learning and practicing the lifestyle of a particular religious group. Whatever the observant religious person would do, I would do, following gender customs and so on. I would do it from a respectful stand point, not a critical one. I'd need a mentor in each community lined up before I began, I would think. Ideally, it would be organized such that a major holy-day or period would be included in the month. In some cases, more than a month might be necessary. The more I play with this idea, the more it intrigues me. Of course, it's sort of like one episode of Morgan Spurlock's show 30 Days. And of course, it will have to wait at least 12 months. *sigh* So many good ideas, so little time.

Coffee

It's ironic given the following, but I do not like coffee in any form, even mocha or mud pie, and I'm pretty sure I don't inspire impulsive action; nonetheless, apparently...

I Am Mud Pie

I'm the perfect combo of flavor and depth Those who like me give into their impulses

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Wrongs

Okay, so five posts in 24 hours is a bit frenetic, I agree. But I just had to add this fifth one. You know that Next Blog button in top right corner? Well, today's meanderings brought me to this fabulous posting entitled "10 rules for knowing you're wrong". It's about scripture and faith, told with apparently deep conviction plus a desire to throw stones at glass houses. The author and commenters are clearly very serious about their faith. Anyway, it's a thought provoking list, check it out.

Someday I will post on why on earth I spend so much of my blogtime exploring religion. I'll have to figure out the answer to that first.

And while I'm at the Next Blog button, here's another interesting post I found using that button. It's a reprint of an article and then blogger's response to the incident involving Congresswoman McKinney, who claimed racism when she was stopped at House office building a few weeks back. Point of the post: using issue card to highlight one's own idiocy just detracts from efforts to actually address the issue.

Your thoughts on either of the above?

Co-opted

It's that time of year. Yes, some Christians are complaining that Easter has become too secular, coopted by candy and kitsch makers. I totally understand that Easter is a more significant Christian holiday than Christmas, plus I'm not a big fan of consumerism (not to mention that I'm not a Christian, per se). But I do enjoy the odd Cadbury egg (original, not the caramel version-blech) and oversized Reese's pb "egg". And I enjoy coloring eggs and putting out my trio of bunnies (aka The Bunny Brigade). At least the bunny giving out candy thing has some relation to spring and abundance. And I don't claim to be celebrating Easter, really, but Spring, so bunnies and candy in moderation works for me personally.

All this reminds me of abortion arguments. "Against Easter candy and kitsch? Then don't buy it." Okay, that is rather hard line of me. I know it's tough to instill a sense of piety in your child when friends and consumerist relatives inculcate expectations for stuff rather than substance on this, like many other, occasions. It's not just a problem with consumerized holy-days. And wow was that a strange juxtaposition or what? But I seriously digress...

Scandinavia takes the cake on head-scratchingly random Easter activities. Check out the Easter link below for more on that....

The Bunny Brigade and I send pleasant Passover and Easter greetings to our Judeo-Christian friends out there. Don't worry about us missing out though--we will enjoy some secular revelry of our own, fear not, for spring is afoot!

By the way, David, we got you a Yummy chocolate bunny (this is a test to see if he's reading along). The bunny's name is Yummy, thus making the act of eating him a bit easier. I mean, he's made to be eaten.

Oh dear, I just pictured those cows in Coalinga and felt my argument go out the window. They were made to be eaten too. sigh Time to go...

Purview

Since when did management of professional sports become a matter for the voters? An opinion poll of voters found most support sanctions against Barry Bonds. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Major League Baseball did not have a suspension policy for steroid use during the time in question. Sure, Barry Bonds sure seems to be a jerk, arrogant, standoffish, and so on; but asking voters? And before you go all, "But he lied" on me, the issue of his committing perjury is perfectly fair to discuss. However, that was NOT part of the opinion poll and hence my indignation over its uselessness is justified. Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.

Messages

In California recently I saw several quotable bumper stickers. The first was an amusing reminder that irresponsible behavior is in the eye of the beholder, and there are some behaviors that really are reprehensible.

I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney
Than fish with Ted Kennedy.

The other bumper sticker was pointed in a different way:

When Jesus said "Love thy enemy"
I think he meant to not kill them.

I was checking the wording for the last one and came across this blogger's twisted variation:

When Allah said "Kill the infidels"
he meant you too.

Another instance of something being bad and funny at the same time.

Along with those bumper stickers, I was excited to see this United Church of Christ commercial. I thought it was a California thing (watch the ad and you'll understand why I might think that), but I saw it on Houston tv too. Wow, almost makes me want to join a UCC church.

Meanings, update

More odd dreams. Last week I dreamt that I was drowning. There are certainly books on what such dreams mean, but I don't take these things to be so symbolic. The dream just spooked me because I've never had that sort of a sensation before. I could feel myself not having enough breath in my lungs and wanting to inhale, but sensing that I wouldn't be able to. I was close to the surface but I couldn't get my mouth up to the air. I remember thinking, am I going to die?

Anyway, my last message entitled Meanings started with a strange dream (President Bush and the mooses) and ended with a personality test. I won't let you down...

I recently took the short version Enneagram test and came out to be equal parts Reformer (type 1) and Loyalist (type 6). Upon examination, I think the former is dominant for me. I'm guessing David would be a Peacemaker (type 9). Once upon a time I disliked taking the Meyers Briggs test; after completing it, my profile said people of that type often got frustrated taking such tests. It earned my respect. I've since been through many professional development trainings meant to illuminate various personality and behavior tendencies, and each time I find it useful. From what I recall, I am creatively analytical, introverted, seek order, and willingly face confrontation. Odd combo, eh?

If you complete such assessments, keep track of your type(s). Find out the type of those around you, especially parents, siblings, partners. Use it as a way of reminding yourself that there are many types of people out there. And as a way of understanding why those people do such annoying things. ;)

Check out my type. Or find your own.

Identity

Help! My name has been stolen! I've long operated under some delusional assumption that my name was unique. That's right, there is another ME out there. I had previously seen her name show up, but hyphenated, so not really ME. A recent Google of my name however showed her to have dropped the hyphen. This is a sad day for me (nee ME).

Craziness

Reports of snow back in the Bay Area, long periods of dry weather in Houston, and an utter lack of desire to eat Egg Beaters for breakfast. This is a crazy time for me. Luckily I embark on a spring break adventure next week. Woo hoo! Alas I just recalled the last--and only--time I ventured off on a spring break adventure before. It must have been 1991 and it involved a sailboat, very poor weather, and one contagiously vomiting infant. Thus I clarify...I embark next week on a fabulous spring break vacation.

We've heard news of some chocolate lab-English springer spaniel puppies available in the area. David and I might go view them with the idea of taking one. Fortunately, for this is the most important prep work, I've got a name all picked out--Cadbury. Do you get it? And since I was in a naming mood, I gave the whining ceiling fan in the bedroom the moniker Hiram. Do you get that one too?

Happy birthday David

Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag!
Feliz cumpleanos!
Joyeux anniversaire!
Tanti auguri!

A world of cheery birthday wishes to you.

Run

Your uplifting (or depressing) thought of the day:

"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows that it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows that it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It does not matter whether you are a lion or gazelle. When the sun comes up you had better be running."
from The World Is Flat by Thomas Friedman

Hopeless

You remember those cheesy "Love is..." cards? I'm going to start my own line of thoughts, "Hopefulness is...". And here's my first entry.

Hopefulness is...
checking my inbox even when no new message icon appears.

I could retitle it "Patheticness is..." but I don't think that's a word.

Worthwhile?

Is it worth your while to know the history of monetary values? If so, do check out How Much Is That. There you can compare values in current dollars or British pounds to values from yesteryear. You can even compare values from one specific year in past to another.

The HMIT is perfect for contextualizing those history lessons. The Louisiana Purchase cost US a fair amount way back when. What would it cost today?

In 2004, $15,000,000.00 from 1803 is worth...
$249,180,882.35 using the Consumer Price Index
$262,262,165.72 using the GDP deflator
$3,979,473,684.21 using the unskilled wage
$5,757,601,498.24 using the GDP per capita
$390,659,102,694.23 using the relative share of GDP

The natural follow up to above would be, what the heck's the difference between worth using CPI and worth using relative share of GDP? I'll get back to you on that one.... Uh, David, care to comment?

Silly

Have you been hearing about online movie spoofs lately? Brokeback Mountain has inspired a number of parodies, but the art form is certainly not new. An old favorite of mine is Store Wars; it's Star Wars told with health foods. There's Chewbroccoli and Darth Tater (who killed Organican Skywalker), and R2D2 is a cube of tofu--well, see it for yourself, it's just too precious.

The leader of the faux-trailer group might be this contest winning entry for Shining. It takes actual footage from The Shining, rearranges it with uplifting music, and voila, you've got a heartwarming family film. A funnier current one is Brokeback to the Future. It would work even better if Doc wasn't always bug eyed and crazed sounding. And lastly, I wonder about the people behind an online picture book using peeps to play parts in Lord of the Rings; check out Lord of the Peeps: Fellowship of the Peep. I think they're working on the entire trilogy, one chapter at a time.

And for an entirely different brand of silly, there's Katamari Damacy. It's the strangest video game ever, and now you can play a mini version online. Here's the official description: "When the King of All Cosmos accidentally destroys all the stars in the sky, he orders you, his pint-sized princely son, to put the twinkle back in the heavens above. The only way you can do that is by rolling everything on Earth into clumps so that he can replace what's missing in space. 'Everything' includes cookies, lawn mowers, lamp posts, sumo wrestlers, bulldozers, brontosauruses , cruise ships, and more." Come on, roll away, it's Friday.

Focus

Not that you asked, but...
My latest obsession is to monitor worldwide earthquakes via RSS feed to My Yahoo page. I've also recently been monitoring medal counts at the Olympics, but that's not really obsession-worthy. What obsessions are you harboring these days? Please don't tell me you have none, for that would throw me for a loop, and I need my focus today.

Cleaning out my desk this morning I came across an old fortune cookie. Instead of checking its staleness (bad idea) I decided to just chuck the thing (good idea--I'm practicing positive reinforcement on myself). But because I am irrationally superstitious (yes, there is such a thing as rational superstition) I pulled the fortune out. "You will soon get something special because of your charm." This begs several questions: Does a fortune become active only once it is pulled from its cookie, or is there some kind of fortune expiration after having received the cookie? And what if the recipient, in this case, is not charming?

Music

Today's random music selections have been particularly pleasing. Would you care to listen along?

Meat Puppets: Maiden's Milk
Morcheeba: The Sea
Travis: Love Will Come Through
The Magic Numbers: Love Me Like You
Don Williams: I Believe in Love
David Byrne: Glass, Concrete and Stone
The Coral: I Remember When
Slobberbone: Sister Beams
Secondhand Jive: San Francisco
Cordero: Vamos Nenas (Live)
Drive-By Truckers: My Sweet Annette

Unfortunately, if you mentioned half of the above artists to me tomorrow, I'd have no idea who you were talking about, more less recognizing that they are a band. This is what I get for downloading the iTunes free song at random.

Desires

Not that you asked, but...
Far be it from me to seek material amusements, and yet I do. David is hard at work on a Drupal version of our material wants list, which would be a tad less consumerist of me. In the meantime I post those items I desire (but do not require) to an assortment of Amazon wish lists.

Quote of the Day 1: I believe that I know the specific amount needed that would allow me to have or do these few things I can't quite afford, and if my income would increase by that much I would then be happy. Yet when the increase comes, I find that I am still discontent because from my new financial position I can now see a whole new set of things I don't have. The problem will be solved when I accept that happiness is a present attitude, not a future condition. --from Notes to Myself: My struggle to become a person by Hugh Prather

Quote of the day 2: A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation. --Adlai E. Stevenson

Happy Valentine's Day by the way. Let love be all around you.

Learning

When I was a kid I often felt that those closest to me in many ways knew the least about me. I behaved and was viewed as they expected. Inside I was an insecure mess, but to others I seemed confident and content with cockiness. I was bossy, stubborn, and lonely. Distance and secure environs and unconditional acceptance have stripped away many of the insecurities. But recently I've felt a bit of it coming back, and this seems to be oozing out into my blog postings. Reading over my archived postings I see that I have been a bit high and mighty ("A bit?!" you might ask). I need to work on that.

Meanings

What does it all mean?

Last night I had a dream in which I was out in gorgeous undeveloped rolling hills grassland, sort of Montana-ish, sitting with a small crowd in rows of folding chairs. At a podium up front was President Bush casually dressed. He was delivering a speech but just could not stand still or keep from smiling. He was in a jubilant, silly mood. Laura Bush, who was standing behind her happy hubby off to the side, kept having to redirect him to keep on with his speech and stay near the podium. She was very patient. He said he just felt like walking around while he spoke. I didn't listen to what he was saying because I was so fixated on the mooses and caribou in the hills just behind the President. There were dozens of them, evenly spread out, and one really large moose with comically large horns (antlers?) which had stuff kind of hanging from them (gigantic cobwebs? Xmas decorations?). Undoubtedly the timing of Bush's state of the union speech, my general observation of his constant little smile, and my introduction of Pavel (the rein-moose) to Virginia yesterday played a part in the dream. But is there anything more to dreams than just random synapses firing away?

Seeking meaning about dreams and other personal reflections, I took a personality test. Well, I took it because I was told to by my instructor. The results are not at all in line with how I view myself. Maybe lots of people have this reaction, because at the end, they give you a link to allow you to post your results for the world to see. So, am I really like that in your eyes? More importantly, do I care?