Boys and their Toys

We went to the drive in again last night. It's the last such theater in our area, one of the only ones in Northern California, and I'm glad we live close enough to it to make a last minute decision possible. So, off we went to see Toy Story 3 on a warm Saturday night in the middle of a three-day weekend. We found a cozy spot at the back, far enough behind the countless minivans to actually allow us in our average-height sedan to see all of the screen. We rolled down the windows and opened the sunroof, popped the top on a can of soda and settled in for the evening. Adam played in the backseat, watching some kids bounce a ball back and forth behind our car, until finally settling down on his blanket and sleeping, well, like a baby. Ahh, suburbia. Nice.

TOY STORY 3
I assume you know the fundamentals of Toy Story by now: Andy has a bunch of beloved toys, led by cowboy Woody and astronaut Buzz Lightyear, and these toys love Andy. Alas, the toys have had it rough these past few years, dwindling in numbers and cooped up in a toy chest as the boy grew to be a young man. Now Andy is headed off to college and the toys begin to look for new play outlets. They eventually end up at a daycare center, where the environment shifts from dreamy to worst nightmare real fast. And so they attempt a daring escape in order to return to Andy's, where they figure waiting in the attic is better than being destroyed.

I've glossed over a lot of details, but you get the idea. Like all other Pixar films, Toy Story 3 is charming, entertaining, has humor for kids and adults alike, and feels as nice as a warm fire on a cold day. The story is solid from beginning to end, and the ending is perfect. I've yet to meet anyone who has not gotten teary eyed (go ahead, try not to be moved). Heartily recommended to all ages.

THE A-TEAM
Whereas Toy Story 3 made me teary eyed over its sweetness and sensitivity and lovability, the second feature of our night made me want to cry for completely different reasons. I should begin by saying I was never a viewer of the tv show The A-Team. I knew its cast, I vaguely understood it was a bunch of renegade problem solvers, and I knew they rode around in a black van or a helicopter piloted by a crazy guy. But I never had a desire to watch the show when it aired in the 80s or ever since. This should have been enough to convince me to choose something else as the follow up to our drive in experience. But no, I was swayed by reviews and comments that the movie was "a lot of fun," a summer/buddy/action movie. I don't often object to such a combo, and "fun" sounded, well, fun to me. After the fact, David said he didn't know why I had chosen it. Oh well. I'm not sure I should review this movie (can you tell I'm not a fan?), but I'll try to be fair.

A foursome of Army Rangers realize their combined talent for fixing sticky situations, and become a strategically used military team. They get drawn into a search for missing money-printing plates in Iraq, which they end up losing in a mission that goes out of control. They are court martialed, dishonorably discharged, and imprisoned. In order to clear their names, they decide to find these plates. But first, they have to break out of prison, locate the person suspected of having taken the plates, and then get them to someone who has enough clout to remove the charges against them.

This sounds like a much better movie than the one I saw. In reality, the film moved jerkily from one wacky situation to the next, with actors pantomiming original characters (especially Liam Neeson as the leader) and spouting ridiculous snippets of dialogue. The cast has potential (though Quinton Jackson as Baracus can't hold a candle to Mr T in that role), the basic plot is more complex than it needed to be (an entire, very fun, movie could have been spent on bringing the team together, and there are some cute/funny moments (Sharlto Copley as Murdock is by far the most entertaining of the bunch, no the only entertaining character, but still very good). Alas, much of this movie felt like a wasted opportunity.

My final analysis: the script is atrocious, the shifts from one scene to the next are inexcusably poor, much of the plot and related dialogue is offensively dumb, and the pacing makes me think a 10-year old boy was in charge. Which is precisely who I think this movie is targeted at, so maybe the film-makers achieved their goal. I was disappointed and disgruntled halfway through the movie, and couldn't turn the car on fast enough when it ended. Need I say...I do not recommend this movie, unless, of course, you are an anti-communicative, girls-are-yucky, explosions-are-cool, 10-year old boy (at heart).