Two months ago, on an otherwise normal day, I was overwhelmed by a deep feeling of longing. I didn't have a specific desire, just this amazing internal pressure. It was exhilarating and confusing. Where had it come from? What could satisfy it? I just went with the flow, continued with normal activities (including some deep breaths), and it eventually petered out. I've enjoyed all sorts of joys and sorrows but never anything so all-consuming as that pressure. The closest I come to it is in the debriefing period after some dreams.
My sleep almost always produces a dream or two. Sometimes I can explain the source for a dream's content in recent thoughts and events, other times I am astounded at what the old noggin taps into from the recesses of my brain. People from the past and present blend together in a timeless plot. Places I don't recall ever seeing in the real world come to life in vivid color in my dreams. Many of my dreams produce so realistic a world that upon waking I know that world not as a dream but as reality. It can be hours or even a day later before I recognize its fictional source. Once acknowledged, a few dreams store themselves in my memory, like a good book or movie. Sometimes I am immediately conscious of the dream, and a sadness washes over me; the dream had offered me access to some person or place that reality does not allow.
4 comments:
I feel the same way about dreams. Last night, I was helping someone during labor. Sometimes I fly. But anyway, since I was 16 I started controlling my dreams. Good thing to do, most of the time. If you ever get that internal pressure again, I hope you find the source!
I've never learned how to control my dreams. I wish I could, because the rare scary one is just as real as the others. But them if I controlled the dream I might lose out on some of the wondrous randomness of what happens. Yin and yang.
Well, the disadvantage is losing sleep during the control.
I woke up this morning thinking my hair was sopping wet inside of a towel I'd left on my head overnight after showering before bed. Turns out my hair was dry. And I did not have a towel on my head while I slept. And I had not showered before bed. It was a dreamscape that took a little while to shake off.
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