July 28, 2005
Relaxation
Hard to imagine, but I'm on vacation and will be far from the Internet for a few weeks. Talk to you when I return....
July 21, 2005
Memories
As I was driving back from Houston this evening, I glimpsed a TCU sticker on a passing car and was reminded of a fabulous football game I attended in what seems like another lifetime. I was a grown adult at the time and still it seems a lifetime ago. Anyway, I got to reminiscing. Since the drive had another hour left, there was a lot of tape to play over in the head. I started forming a list, in no particular order, of cherished memories. I realized that a lot of them are from a decade or more ago. Odd, because I think I'm a much happier, more content person now than I was then. Maybe these moments stand out because they existed within a framework of insecurity and self loathing.
There are lots of things I remember that I am happy to have experienced and learned a great deal from, but not all were utterly satisfying in the moment. Sometimes I wish I could experience those things again; but just as Phil Connors discovered in Groundhog Day, you can't recreate a moment. It just happens. I feel fortunate to have been able not only to experience so many wonderful things but to have saved those memories as moments to be happy about, and to revel in. After all, at what other time can you really be happy other than right now?
There are lots of things I remember that I am happy to have experienced and learned a great deal from, but not all were utterly satisfying in the moment. Sometimes I wish I could experience those things again; but just as Phil Connors discovered in Groundhog Day, you can't recreate a moment. It just happens. I feel fortunate to have been able not only to experience so many wonderful things but to have saved those memories as moments to be happy about, and to revel in. After all, at what other time can you really be happy other than right now?
July 19, 2005
Vocabulary
Random thoughts: My brain isn't being very coherent lately; I blame it on a lack of sunshine. Our forecast for the last two weeks (and next two undoubtedly) is isolated or scattered thunderstorms. And for the record: sugar-free butterscotch instant pudding is nasty. I should have known that already, shouldn't I?
I've given David this quote to put on his wall at work, but so far it's not made it off the desk. It deserves a wider audience.
The latest Harry Potter book is amusing, but I'm at odds with the hype. I really enjoy the the story and characters (well, except for Ron who exceedingly annoys me). I dislike the simple language. Rowling could stand to invest in a thesaurus, for the sake of the millions of impressionable youth she quite consciously targets. I also felt like this latest installment banged me over the head with too many details. It seemed obvious what was going to happen--in many of the plotlines--and I grew restless and somewhat troubled halfway through. Fortunately Harry remains very compelling, and I push on in respect and admiration for him.
Speaking of word choice...I am awed by the Republican Party's attention to language. Their message machine is indeed impressive in its reach. I want to know how they manage to distribute the key phrases and terminology that are so consistently used in public statements. And I want to see the setting in which these phrases are agreed upon. Whoever is in charge is one powerful person. Any guesses as to whom this might be? (I'll give you three, and the first two don't count.)
I've given David this quote to put on his wall at work, but so far it's not made it off the desk. It deserves a wider audience.
Computers make people even better and smarter than they were made by previous thingamabobs. Or if some people prove incorrigibly wicked or stupid or both, computers will at least speed them up.Wendell Barry, from "The Joy of Sales Resistance"
The latest Harry Potter book is amusing, but I'm at odds with the hype. I really enjoy the the story and characters (well, except for Ron who exceedingly annoys me). I dislike the simple language. Rowling could stand to invest in a thesaurus, for the sake of the millions of impressionable youth she quite consciously targets. I also felt like this latest installment banged me over the head with too many details. It seemed obvious what was going to happen--in many of the plotlines--and I grew restless and somewhat troubled halfway through. Fortunately Harry remains very compelling, and I push on in respect and admiration for him.
Speaking of word choice...I am awed by the Republican Party's attention to language. Their message machine is indeed impressive in its reach. I want to know how they manage to distribute the key phrases and terminology that are so consistently used in public statements. And I want to see the setting in which these phrases are agreed upon. Whoever is in charge is one powerful person. Any guesses as to whom this might be? (I'll give you three, and the first two don't count.)
July 18, 2005
Bunches
Happy birthday to Tony and Tony, father and son, my cousins; two days away from wife/mom Rena's birthday. AND it's their anniversary. That's a happy few days I hope. Happy birthday! Happy anniversary!
It's funny how events can bunch up. Sherri's birthday is same day as her parents' anniversary and her own anniversary is around then too. My brother Brian and uncle Gary share their birthday. My mom and my uncle Bob E. share a birthday, which is very near my cousin Charlotte's and great uncle Ken's. Todd and Julie, who have been in the same room twice in their lives, share birthday in February and anniversary day/year in July. Now that's a little odd. My dad, cousin Angela, and grandfather are just days apart (though certainly decades apart!) in their birthdays. My grandparents Alice and Carl had their anniversary on same day as my grandma Ginny's birthday; then my mom's friend JoAnn has same birthday. June is a busy baby month and a very popular one for weddings; let's trace back nine months--why so many birthdays in June?
Birthdays a day apart confound me when attempting to mail cards. David's brother and sister have birthdays a day apart. Is Kalpana's the 8th or 9th? Whichever one hers is, my grandma Alice's is the other. David's mom's is either the day before or after Shannin's. I think Erin T.C. is a day away from Greg, and one of them shares the day with Sean. Ack, I'm getting confused again. Must keep better notes. I've obtained a birthday calendar and am trying to fill it in. By next year I'll actually get cards to people on time. Wow!
And then there are all the offspring these days--ack, my birthday calendar is already overflowing. Could we schedule people to spread their marriages and procreation out a bit? :)
It's funny how events can bunch up. Sherri's birthday is same day as her parents' anniversary and her own anniversary is around then too. My brother Brian and uncle Gary share their birthday. My mom and my uncle Bob E. share a birthday, which is very near my cousin Charlotte's and great uncle Ken's. Todd and Julie, who have been in the same room twice in their lives, share birthday in February and anniversary day/year in July. Now that's a little odd. My dad, cousin Angela, and grandfather are just days apart (though certainly decades apart!) in their birthdays. My grandparents Alice and Carl had their anniversary on same day as my grandma Ginny's birthday; then my mom's friend JoAnn has same birthday. June is a busy baby month and a very popular one for weddings; let's trace back nine months--why so many birthdays in June?
Birthdays a day apart confound me when attempting to mail cards. David's brother and sister have birthdays a day apart. Is Kalpana's the 8th or 9th? Whichever one hers is, my grandma Alice's is the other. David's mom's is either the day before or after Shannin's. I think Erin T.C. is a day away from Greg, and one of them shares the day with Sean. Ack, I'm getting confused again. Must keep better notes. I've obtained a birthday calendar and am trying to fill it in. By next year I'll actually get cards to people on time. Wow!
And then there are all the offspring these days--ack, my birthday calendar is already overflowing. Could we schedule people to spread their marriages and procreation out a bit? :)
July 11, 2005
Wanting
Two months ago, on an otherwise normal day, I was overwhelmed by a deep feeling of longing. I didn't have a specific desire, just this amazing internal pressure. It was exhilarating and confusing. Where had it come from? What could satisfy it? I just went with the flow, continued with normal activities (including some deep breaths), and it eventually petered out. I've enjoyed all sorts of joys and sorrows but never anything so all-consuming as that pressure. The closest I come to it is in the debriefing period after some dreams.
My sleep almost always produces a dream or two. Sometimes I can explain the source for a dream's content in recent thoughts and events, other times I am astounded at what the old noggin taps into from the recesses of my brain. People from the past and present blend together in a timeless plot. Places I don't recall ever seeing in the real world come to life in vivid color in my dreams. Many of my dreams produce so realistic a world that upon waking I know that world not as a dream but as reality. It can be hours or even a day later before I recognize its fictional source. Once acknowledged, a few dreams store themselves in my memory, like a good book or movie. Sometimes I am immediately conscious of the dream, and a sadness washes over me; the dream had offered me access to some person or place that reality does not allow.
My sleep almost always produces a dream or two. Sometimes I can explain the source for a dream's content in recent thoughts and events, other times I am astounded at what the old noggin taps into from the recesses of my brain. People from the past and present blend together in a timeless plot. Places I don't recall ever seeing in the real world come to life in vivid color in my dreams. Many of my dreams produce so realistic a world that upon waking I know that world not as a dream but as reality. It can be hours or even a day later before I recognize its fictional source. Once acknowledged, a few dreams store themselves in my memory, like a good book or movie. Sometimes I am immediately conscious of the dream, and a sadness washes over me; the dream had offered me access to some person or place that reality does not allow.
July 10, 2005
Ten Questions
I just took a survey methods class. Before the class I played with online survey programs. Now I want to play some more, but I need help making up questions. I'm not shooting for a unifying theme here, just sample questions that might amuse people enough to reply and get me some practice with this software.
Do you have a burning "question" that you'd be willing to let me use for a practice survey? They're actually statements to which you agree or disagree or they are questions of frequency or number. For example (bad examples, but examples nonetheless): Online surveys are a waste of time. Strongly disagree to strongly agree. How many times a day do you suck in your gut? 0, 1-2, 3-4, 5 or more. Feel free to submit a possible survey/poll question in the comments box or via email.
Do you have a burning "question" that you'd be willing to let me use for a practice survey? They're actually statements to which you agree or disagree or they are questions of frequency or number. For example (bad examples, but examples nonetheless): Online surveys are a waste of time. Strongly disagree to strongly agree. How many times a day do you suck in your gut? 0, 1-2, 3-4, 5 or more. Feel free to submit a possible survey/poll question in the comments box or via email.
July 09, 2005
A Third of a Library
A Third of a Library
Originally uploaded by Hellemic.
If things around me are in chaos visually, in physical disarray or lacking a clear path or access, I become anxious. I must have been an extremely anxious youth, then, for my room growing up was always a disaster. I know now that keeping things tidy, organizing where chaos reigned for too long, I am made happy. I have always known this, but now I know to take action on it. So in this room where I like to sit, our office/library, I recently organized some of our books.
We have six floor-to-ceiling bookcases; the bottom two shelves are covered by doors and thus jampacked full. Unfortunately there is not a librarian to return things to their logical order when books are pulled for use and returned. Reshelving would have been easier if the books were pretty much organized to begin with, but they were only loosely so--itself quite a feat given the number of books we only truly realized we had when we brought them all together in this house and room. So, with a busy spring piles dominated and the hyperventilating became routine once again. One dedicated weekend I set about getting it all in order. What to others might appear a waste of precious time (several big assignments were bearing down on me), felt to me like a release. I needed to clear my head.
It is about halfway done. The cupboards remain a jumbled mess of resources and many are only half full (or a mere 1 layer deep) but I've dug through the remaining boxes enough times to know roughly where to find everything. Here you can see one-third of our "library". The other side of the room is dominated by the desk and technology. The old with the new. Welcome.
MUSIC: The solid state stereo provided aural entertainment during my organizing time. The previous owners left for us the stereo and speakers, on cute little custom built shelves under the window. So I listened to the local public radio station (classical midday), the rock station (which plays current popular hard rock songs whether they are worth listening to or not), and then Delilah on the cheesy adult soft rock station (sounds so X-rated--it's decidedly not).
July 05, 2005
Christian Bible
I love religious thought. I respect and admire the fact that people spend time pondering their place in the universe. I've long considered myself, philosophically, a Buddhist. However, [looking out for lightning strike...] I think I'm actually more of a fan of Jesus than a lot of Christians. It's no competition I realize, but it comes as a bit of surprise to me, someone who neither believes in a "God" nor associates myself in any way other than USA cultural identity with Christianity. I should add that my feelings about Jesus are for him as a teacher and a great historical figure, not as a religious icon. (Full disclosure is necessary--I do not wish to misrepresent myself or trample on others' beliefs here. I'm sharing what are intriguing thoughts to me. Feel free to comment.)
There are many who reject traditional religions in their lives. My hero Thich Nhat Hanh has explored this idea many a time; check out one of his talks on the subject of spiritual ancestors of Buddhists and Christians. I think there are a lot of "Christians" out there who aren't living very Jesus-oriented lives. If, as Thich Nhat Hanh says, my spiritual ancestors are Christian (the recent ones at any rate), it is no wonder to me that Buddhism would be appealing or that upon examination I might consider Jesus's teachings quite acceptable as well. Buddhist teachings and Jesus's teachings are an awful lot alike (in spirit, which is really where my reading focuses--I'm not a strict interpreter of anything). A discussion on the subject raises a number of interesting (though not all relevant) points of comparison. And the website jesusisbuddha makes their case for a quite eyebrow-raising claim. I don't feel I'm well read enough to speculate on the chances of a direct connection, but similarities in philosophy undeniably exist. Don't just take my word for it--check out one of many books on the subject, either from a Buddhist or a Christian perspective.
As a freshman in college, I loved nothing more than hearing new perspectives. Oddly, although raised generically "Christian", I had always felt more attuned to and aware of non-Christian faiths (and I never believed in Jesus Christ or God, well, except as a historical literary figure or a white bearded guy sitting in the clouds with as many televisions as people on earth, but that's a separate story). So in college, at an extremely non-mainstream sort of campus, I learned lots about Christianity. Tara had gone to a Catholic school and argued vehemently the pros/cons of that faith and its history; her experiences compared with Alison's (an Irish exchange student). And my sophomore year I lived across the hall from four devoutly Christian students (quite the anomaly at UCSC). They opened my eyes to the wonders of their faith; it was positive, thorough, and rooted in critical exploration. One of the things they had was a dictionary of the Bible. Pick a topic and they could find Biblical passages that touched on it. Without going into a Christian bookstore, I'd love to get one of these things. I'm afraid explaining why I'd like one to the store employees might get me kicked out. Isn't that sad?
Bible means a lot of things to a lot of people, and the words inside get used to justify myriad actions and beliefs. The Christian Bible refers to the sum total of the Old and New Testaments, with the sacred Christian bits residing in the New. I heard Sister Helen Prejean say one time that she is a "New Testament Christian" and something clicked for me. What does it mean to be "Christian"? I've got this idea to scour the New Testament for evidence of Jesus's support for the practices and espoused beliefs of alleged "Christians" today. A comparison of this info with statements from the Old Testament and then to current practices and beliefs would complete an obsession of mine over where people base their ideologies. Thankfully, there are others who've done much of this work already. Phew, yet again I realize I am not insanely alone in this worldview of mine. On the subject of war and peace, check out a theologian's article on the subject of Old Testament versus New Testament views on war, and a monk's review of the history of Catholic "Just War" theory.
There are many who reject traditional religions in their lives. My hero Thich Nhat Hanh has explored this idea many a time; check out one of his talks on the subject of spiritual ancestors of Buddhists and Christians. I think there are a lot of "Christians" out there who aren't living very Jesus-oriented lives. If, as Thich Nhat Hanh says, my spiritual ancestors are Christian (the recent ones at any rate), it is no wonder to me that Buddhism would be appealing or that upon examination I might consider Jesus's teachings quite acceptable as well. Buddhist teachings and Jesus's teachings are an awful lot alike (in spirit, which is really where my reading focuses--I'm not a strict interpreter of anything). A discussion on the subject raises a number of interesting (though not all relevant) points of comparison. And the website jesusisbuddha makes their case for a quite eyebrow-raising claim. I don't feel I'm well read enough to speculate on the chances of a direct connection, but similarities in philosophy undeniably exist. Don't just take my word for it--check out one of many books on the subject, either from a Buddhist or a Christian perspective.
As a freshman in college, I loved nothing more than hearing new perspectives. Oddly, although raised generically "Christian", I had always felt more attuned to and aware of non-Christian faiths (and I never believed in Jesus Christ or God, well, except as a historical literary figure or a white bearded guy sitting in the clouds with as many televisions as people on earth, but that's a separate story). So in college, at an extremely non-mainstream sort of campus, I learned lots about Christianity. Tara had gone to a Catholic school and argued vehemently the pros/cons of that faith and its history; her experiences compared with Alison's (an Irish exchange student). And my sophomore year I lived across the hall from four devoutly Christian students (quite the anomaly at UCSC). They opened my eyes to the wonders of their faith; it was positive, thorough, and rooted in critical exploration. One of the things they had was a dictionary of the Bible. Pick a topic and they could find Biblical passages that touched on it. Without going into a Christian bookstore, I'd love to get one of these things. I'm afraid explaining why I'd like one to the store employees might get me kicked out. Isn't that sad?
Bible means a lot of things to a lot of people, and the words inside get used to justify myriad actions and beliefs. The Christian Bible refers to the sum total of the Old and New Testaments, with the sacred Christian bits residing in the New. I heard Sister Helen Prejean say one time that she is a "New Testament Christian" and something clicked for me. What does it mean to be "Christian"? I've got this idea to scour the New Testament for evidence of Jesus's support for the practices and espoused beliefs of alleged "Christians" today. A comparison of this info with statements from the Old Testament and then to current practices and beliefs would complete an obsession of mine over where people base their ideologies. Thankfully, there are others who've done much of this work already. Phew, yet again I realize I am not insanely alone in this worldview of mine. On the subject of war and peace, check out a theologian's article on the subject of Old Testament versus New Testament views on war, and a monk's review of the history of Catholic "Just War" theory.
July 04, 2005
Holiday
Classes are mostly over and my long-delayed birthday weekend is here. Yea! Recipe for a delectable birthday cake: devil's food mini loaves supplemented with dark chocolate chips, cakes cut in half and filled with generous layer of cooked buttercream; cakes are then covered with a cooked dutch/dark chocolate icing. I threw in a 1/2 cup or so of ground flaxseed, so I could argue the cake was not wholly unhealthy. Marginally healthy or not, the cake was so rich that it made me sick--my heart was racing and I was having trouble breathing. But in a good way. Hmm, sick feeling might have begun with finger licking during preparation.
We went and saw War of the Worlds. Movie tickets are inexpensive here, and I'm not sorry to have given $5 for this show. We got lots of previews and a roller coaster of a movie. Tom Cruise, in spite of his bizarrely insensitive-to-prudence-or-sense recent behavior, is still a charismatic actor.
Happy July 4th! My cooking continues today with a foray into wacky burger land. I'm not a big hamburger eater, but I love veggie burgers. I'm going to attempt a merger today: Nature's Burger (from Fantastic Foods) mixed in with ground beef, some sauteed onion, and worcestershire sauce. For added pizazz I also threw in a hefty serving of crumbled goat cheese for half the burger mixture. David says there's too much cheese. We'll see. UPDATE: The cheese provided flavor but not cheesiness and definitely no gooeyness. Overall texture of the burgers was crumbly and rich, not beefy at all. Perfect!
Latest Pew Global Attitudes Survey on America's image in the world shows the USA is not so positively viewed by many in the rest of the world including Europe. Confirming numbers do intrigue me but the notion that we aren't god's gift to the universe really doesn't come as a surprise. I love my country; I'm not so fond of our foreign policy and (lack of) diplomacy. As one of the speakers on CBS's Sunday Morning report about the Pew survey said, powerful countries can behave as kindly older siblings or as bullying older siblings. We're venturing into bully-land. How do you realize you're the one being the bully? Isn't the first step in solving a problem admitting that you have one?
Learn more about foreign affairs. Take a look at the Council on Foreign Relations.
MUSIC DU JOUR: Natalie Merchant's Ophelia. Gorgeous, positive, soul-searing music and lyrics.
We went and saw War of the Worlds. Movie tickets are inexpensive here, and I'm not sorry to have given $5 for this show. We got lots of previews and a roller coaster of a movie. Tom Cruise, in spite of his bizarrely insensitive-to-prudence-or-sense recent behavior, is still a charismatic actor.
Happy July 4th! My cooking continues today with a foray into wacky burger land. I'm not a big hamburger eater, but I love veggie burgers. I'm going to attempt a merger today: Nature's Burger (from Fantastic Foods) mixed in with ground beef, some sauteed onion, and worcestershire sauce. For added pizazz I also threw in a hefty serving of crumbled goat cheese for half the burger mixture. David says there's too much cheese. We'll see. UPDATE: The cheese provided flavor but not cheesiness and definitely no gooeyness. Overall texture of the burgers was crumbly and rich, not beefy at all. Perfect!
Latest Pew Global Attitudes Survey on America's image in the world shows the USA is not so positively viewed by many in the rest of the world including Europe. Confirming numbers do intrigue me but the notion that we aren't god's gift to the universe really doesn't come as a surprise. I love my country; I'm not so fond of our foreign policy and (lack of) diplomacy. As one of the speakers on CBS's Sunday Morning report about the Pew survey said, powerful countries can behave as kindly older siblings or as bullying older siblings. We're venturing into bully-land. How do you realize you're the one being the bully? Isn't the first step in solving a problem admitting that you have one?
Learn more about foreign affairs. Take a look at the Council on Foreign Relations.
MUSIC DU JOUR: Natalie Merchant's Ophelia. Gorgeous, positive, soul-searing music and lyrics.
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