My favorite mug

I herein am creating a new chain-response activity, entitled "My favorite [blank]". Feel free to respond with your favorite blank.

My favorite mug is large enough to have a nice size cup of tea or hot chocolate without going overboard (Too small and I wonder--I wasted a teabag on that? Too big and I end up wasting the excess, because how can I not use the space provided when making my drink?). It has a sturdy handle (important for carrying with baby or laptop in other hand), and is a wide regular cylindrical shape (good for even stirring and marshmallow placement) But the best part, and why it is my favorite, is the (oddly current but dated 1982, Murphy's Law-esque) text decoration which entertains me every time I read it. Naturally when there is something that brings me such joy I will want to share it with the world (the text, not the mug--there are limits to my generosity).

Laws of Computer Programming
* Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
* If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
* If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
* Any program will expand to fill any available memory.
* The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
* Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer to maintain it.
* Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find out that programmers cannot write in English.

Weinberg's Law
* If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Hare's Law of Large Programs
* Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.

Troutman's Programming Laws
* If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction.
* Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will the most harmful error then be discovered.
* Job control cards that cannot be arranged in improper order will be.
* Interchangeable tapes won't.
* If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.
* Machines work, people should think.

Golub's Laws of Computerdom
* A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete thane expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.
* The effort required to correct the error increases geometrically with time.

Bradley's Bromide
* If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee--that will do them in.

Fabulous, eh? Okay, your turn.

Jonesing

Know anyone who's an internet addict? How long can you go without using a computer, smart phone, or other net connected device? When is the last time you went 48 hours complete without checking your email? (Odds are it was during a vacation, a forced net-free zone.) Sounds funny, but I bet this is a serious problem for some people. And I'm sure it's changing (changed?) the way we interact, move, and plan our days. Just something I woke up contemplating. Now I'm off to check my email.... :)

Personal Statements

How cool is it to have a dedicated space to share one's views with friends and strangers alike on a regular basis? Vain, yes; generally pointless, certainly, but fun too. Never discount the value of fun. (I am reminded of the old "sound of one hand clapping" or "if a tree falls with no one to hear..." questions. Does anyone read my blog? Hello? You do realize I keep tabs on my readership, right? Wait, what was I doing? Oh, right, writing about vanity writing.)

Some people think bigger. Television producer Chuck Lorre is allotted space at the end of shows he produces for displaying a production logo to millions of viewers. Instead of the usual personalized production company image, Chuck takes this big-time opportunity to share a rant, story, or whatever is on his mind. So far he's presented 260 or so of these, including #255:

In film and television there exists a rule that all phone numbers spoken in dialogue or seen on the screen begin with the fake prefix 555. The reason for this rule is that somewhere along the line idiots began calling the phone numbers used on TV shows and movies. This resulted in production companies and networks being sued by the unhappy people who were harassed by the prank calls from the aforementioned idiots. All of which means that whether you're trying to enjoy a humble sitcom or a hundred million dollar action movie, every phone number will begin with the hateful, illusion-wrecking prefix, 555. In tonight's episode of Two and a Half Men we tried to get around this dilemma. The phone number Charlie rattles off in the first scene is actually one number short of a real number. Then, later in the scene, he discusses a memory trick which involves replacing numbers with letters in order to remember them. If you check your phone, you'll see the letters we used, OXOFEMPAL, or 696-336-725, is again one number short of being an actual working number, and JKLPUZO is the broadcast acceptable 555-7896. A lot of work, not to mention endless negotiations with our CBS censor, was necessary to come up with these numbers. So, to all the idiots out there, let me just say, 555-382-5968.

Like a few others, #255 never aired. In its place the network ran this alternate #255:

CENSORED
As always, the offending material is available to be read if you know where to look. I think you'll find that the card, while mildly amusing, is nowhere near as entertaining as the raging paranoia of our network censors.

P.S. For selfish reasons I would ask that you wait to read the censored card until after The Big Bang Theory.

Where to look is on his website, where he posts all of 'em, aired or not. Whether good or bad, self destructive or career making, as of tonight Chuck Lorre Productions has generated more than 260 of these industry-poking "vanity cards". Harmlessly fun and way cooler than a blog, I'd say.

P.S. I ran a google search with just the word "fun" and it suggested Wikipedia's "Recreation" entry. Okay, I could challenge the relevance of presenting recreation as a legitimate objective when seeking out fun, but that's not what got my blood boiling. Check out the preview line offered for that page:

Recreation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Recreation or fun is chasing around black people with sticks. While leisure is more likely ...
Look up recreation or fun in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recreation -

Wtf?! When I clicked through to the page, that text does not actually appear. I am thankful (the offending text has been edited out) and still deeply disturbed all at the same time.

P.P.S. Lest you be left with an appalling image of Wikipedia and its anyone-can-contribute, seemingly nonexistent publishing standards, check out the un-fun but not un-interesting discussion of its Recreation entry. Some people have way too much time on their hands.

P.P.P.S. It could be said that all blog writers have too much time on their hands. Me, I'd say Chuck Lorre does.